My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
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︎ Mar 12 2021
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
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︎ Jan 10 2021
What do you call a teacher that would never break wind in public?
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︎ Mar 17 2021
As a chemistry teacher, someone asked me during one of my labs if I look at memes.
βPeriodically,β I said
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︎ Mar 13 2021
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle...
Strange name, but she tortoise well .
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Why was the music teacher fired?
For having students read band books.
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︎ Mar 05 2021
Why did the teacher freak out while grading his Synonyms quiz?
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︎ Mar 13 2021
My biology teacher is a pun legend
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Did you hear about the teacher with two lazy eyes?
Didn't last more then a day, couldn't control his pupils.
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︎ Mar 15 2021
My geometry teacher has lost his parrot.
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︎ Mar 07 2021
My kidβs chemistry teacher was arrested in class yesterday. He was pouring out teaspoons of sodium chloride for each student, but because the class was rowdy, he kept losing his place and having to start over.
The police charged him with multiple counts of a salt.
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︎ Mar 09 2021
My math teacher called me average...
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︎ Oct 04 2020
Teacher: What are you laughing at?
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︎ Feb 01 2021
My son came out with this one today; My teacher told me to have a good day...
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︎ Mar 02 2021
What would a bar owned by an English teacher be called?
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︎ Mar 09 2021
What's the stinkiest kind of teacher?
A substi-toot teacher.
Told by my son and his friend (1st grade) who worked on this joke for about 30 minutes.
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Did you hear about the chemistry teacher who became upset?
Apparently he told a dad joke in class and it got no reaction.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
What is an English teacher's favorite cereal?
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︎ Feb 04 2021
I was talking to my choir teacher and she asked me if Icing well.
I told her I don't work in a bakery
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︎ Feb 10 2021
I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?
That's where I draw the line.
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︎ Jan 14 2021
How can you identify a group of math teachers?
They're the ones that look like alge-bros.
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︎ Jan 28 2021
What do you call an IT teacher who has an inappropriate relationship with a student?
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︎ Feb 05 2021
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
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︎ Jan 06 2021
βMy fifth grade teacher started the first day of school by expressing her doubts and apprehension for the year ahead.β
βOh, thatβs awful. Who was that?β
βMiss Givings.β
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︎ Mar 03 2021
Did I tell you guys about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldnβt control her pupils.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/dadjokes, but today she is absent.
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︎ Jul 31 2020
My son's science fair entry was a volcano made of a fat product from rendering the fatty tissue of a pig. My son's fat teacher waddled around everywhere when he set it off...
The lard ash was everywhere!
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︎ Mar 02 2021
I wanted to date my math teacher....
I wanted to date my math teacher to have a chance of looking at her tan lines. But I cant, cos its was a sin.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
What are the last words of the physical education teacher?
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︎ Feb 19 2021
I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
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︎ Jul 30 2020
My creative writing teacher told me to submit a creative 2,000 word essay.
So, I gave her 2 pictures.
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︎ Jan 12 2021
My English teacher has a weird last name so we should just call him Matthew
It doesn't fit him though so we've agreed to call him Englishew
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
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︎ Jan 17 2021
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
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︎ Feb 02 2021
Teacher: "Use the word sugar in a sentence."
Student: "The tea is too sweet."
Teacher: "Where is sugar in the sentence?"
Student: "In the tea!!"
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︎ Jan 26 2021
My uncle was a math teacher.
When he retired, he bought a boat and named it Aftermath.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Which historical figure would you pick to be your teacher and why?
The Wright Brothers, cause they make time fly.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
History teachers are the worst gifters
They always think about the past, not the present
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︎ Jan 29 2021
What did the teacher say when s/he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
We used to have a Teacherβs assistant named Ruth, but one day she left.
After that, our teacher became ruthless
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︎ Jan 05 2021
art teacher: is that a bird or a plane
young clark kent: crumples self portrait
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︎ Jan 24 2021
I hear Ms. Parton became a Buddhist teacher...
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Who do teachers blame when dealing with bad apples?
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︎ Feb 02 2021
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Why was the chemistry teacher upset?
Because their joke didn't get a reaction.
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Why did the teacher never fart in public?
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︎ Dec 19 2020
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