College Football Puns

I was the punner.

and my friend is throwing a bag of ice in the ground. My other friend mom comes up and asks "what is he doing" and I told her he was breaking the ice and I said there was a much simpler way. Confused she said "how?"

I replied "Hi my names Ryan"

With my girlfriend next to me, I was going over a 2016 NFL college prospects. Oregon has a defensive lineman named DeForest Buckner.

Girlfriend: "Is he any good?"

Me: "Some scouts think he leaves a lot to be desired with his technique, but I think they're just missing DeForest for DeTrees."

It was wasted on her.

Hey Zach, you know what would happen if the Oregon Ducks won three years in a row?

No, what?

It would be a duck dynasty.

Asked my Dad what his favorite college football team is besides his alma mater and my university.

Dad: "Georgia Tech of course." Me: "Why?" Dad: "They're the only football team named after an article of clothing..."

-_-

Friend: Oh that's so cool they have a stealth bomber flying in.

Me: Where I don't see it.

I went with my dad to a college football game and we were sitting in section B row 21. The person behind us calmly says to someone next to us, there is a bee in you hair. Without hesitation and with a dead serious look on his face my dad turns around and says "well we are sitting in the B section"

In the sitting room watching the football match, and I was saying how my group in college had to do a project on the pasteurisation of milk...and he comes out with this classic. Every line in the dialogue is him:

Did you know that Cleopatra used to bathe in milk?

Was it pasteurised?

No it only went up to around her shoulders!

We decided to visit the Paul. W Bryant Museum before the game. The museum is essentially just a building full of the history of Alabama college football including National Championship trophies and all that. I happened to notice that there were lots of Tennessee fans walking around the museum as well which seemed a bit odd to me.

Me: Dad, why are there so many Tennessee fans walking around in here? It seems strange.

Dad: Well son, they want to see what a trophy looks like.

We were watching the Monday Night football game between the Eagles and the Bears, and we were discussing Carson Wentz, the Eagles new quarterback. Me: "Where did he play in college again?" Dad: "From Wentz he came? North Dakota State"

New Year's Day... The start of a fresh 365 sunrises that symbolize a turning point in lifestyle and spending the entire day recovering from a dreadful hangover. Like many other people in America, this relatively fake holiday is a time that I spend with my family. One of my family's many traditions (alongside annihilating plates of buffalo wings and watching college football until we pass out on the couch) is watching the Rose Parade. At the very beginning of the event, before all of the flower-covered floats and high school bands came marching down the street, there was an introductory ceremony complete with a B-2 stealth bomber flyover. As soon as they passed by, zooming out of the camera's frame, my dad leans in closer to me and says "Well I sure didn't see that coming!"