Today's school pun
So today in school we were went on dates with energy (we were given a random energy and fact about them) so I said "I sure hope I get geothermal because then they'd be hot...
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︎ Mar 09 2019
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies. "
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
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︎ Feb 01 2021
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle...
Strange name, but she tortoise well .
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Why didn't the chef graduate culinary school?
He failed the main course.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
What did the buffalo say when he dropped his kid off at school?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
My son went to school dressed as a horse.
He was the centaur of attention.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
I went to the store looking for some books on turtles, for my Son's school studies. " Hardback ? " the assistant asked me. And I said..
" yeah, and little heads. "
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︎ Feb 19 2021
A Shovel passed flying school top of his class
He is a real Ace of Spades
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︎ Jan 30 2021
I was racing my daughter to school this morning and I was winning.
She said that I was ahead, and I laughed when I told her βno, Iβm a dad.β
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︎ Feb 11 2021
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: βHow do you know it was going to school?β
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Where do smart dogs go to school?
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︎ Feb 05 2021
What di they serve at the cannibal school?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Did you hear about the kidnapping at a elementary school?
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Iβve got a friend that fell in love with two school bags
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if sheβd had her medicine yet.
My daughter said yes, and I replied, βSo youβre de-Claritin that youβve had it already?β
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︎ Jan 17 2021
What do you call an obese child in school?
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︎ Feb 02 2021
My son's school bus driver told him to quickly find a seat.
"There's one!" he yelled. "Look, there's another one right there! And another over there!"
He walked home that day.
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︎ Feb 09 2021
What do fish study in school?
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︎ Jan 04 2021
My buddy Earl has never been late to work, school, or any appointment. Want to know his secret?
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︎ Jan 31 2021
Of all the things I learned while in grade school...
I never thought trying to avoid cooties would be the most useful thing at this stage of my life.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
My bodybuilder friend decided to quit the gym and get into seminary school instead.
Either way, he is cross training.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
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︎ Nov 13 2020
My 6th grade son was in a REALLY good mood after school today...
There was a new girl from Kentucky in his class. He asked her "how's the fried chicken?". Long story short she gave him her phone number. I'm so proud and still laughing π
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︎ Feb 08 2021
My wife asked if people wearing camo was big when I was in school.
Told her if they did, I didnβt see them.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
This was at my high school
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︎ Oct 21 2020
I asked my son how he did on his school report about Canada
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︎ Jan 03 2021
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Is it o.k. to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school...
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.
The correct answer was blood vessels.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Why did Bud go to school?
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︎ Jan 21 2021
My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.
I said, βYes, but I was part of the control group.β
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Why did a pirate drop out of school early?
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Why giraffe goes to the library after school?
Everything he reads there is higher studies.
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︎ Jan 16 2021
What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left to school ?
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︎ Dec 23 2020
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Thought yβall might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school π
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︎ Dec 20 2020
This happened a while back, I was dropping my 7 year old school son to school. βSon, hurry up, weβre running late.β
Son: βno dad, weβre walking late.β
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︎ Jan 01 2021
What do you get when you go to an emo school?
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︎ Nov 26 2020
My wife told me today, "Look, I've had this since high school and it still fits me."
Me: "Yeah!!! It's a scarf. "
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I heard that the jalapeΓ±o finally finished school.
He is now known as Dr. Pepper
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Schools today are serious about keeping sickness away. They even sent the espresso home today.
Because it was a little coffee.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Lily's fatal Greek mythology school play.
Lily liked Greek mythology a lot. Her favorite character was the titaness Rhea. She loved the story about her outsmarting Cronus with a stone in order to get her children back. She loved it so much in fact, that for the sake or realism, she decided to eat some rocks too for the upcoming school play she took part in! But, very soon after going onto the stage, poor Lily started convulsing on the floor. It was a poor decision to eat the stones. She knew that. But at least, she could die a Rhea.
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I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.
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︎ Jan 05 2021
I need help coming up with βbearβ puns for a school project
Trying to think these up has been unbearable
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︎ Feb 19 2021
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: βHow do you know it was going to school?β
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?
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︎ Feb 10 2021
A buffalo dropped his boy off at school and said...
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︎ Jan 04 2021
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