I hate reading puns about herbs. Seriously! They are such a waste of thyme...
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/dadjokes, but today she is absent.

So today, a subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 24k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
I have been reading some history on the French revolution and found out what happened to Louis XVI's head

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a horror book in Braille.

Something bad is going to happen.

I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trainsareepic
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a book about these two melons that have a forbidden love. They’ve tried to run away together many times, but are caught every time.

It seems that no matter how hard they try, they just can’t-elope

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunkyFaz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
Reading it with an accent like Sean Connery cracks me up!
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tribelawn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a book about a world without gravity...

It’s impossible to put it down.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TFeyner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
I keep dropping my phone while reading all these dad jokes.

It’s getting out of hand.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
I was reading a book on Helium

I couldn't put it down

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
After reading this you might be an aware-wolf
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/straight-boomin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
I was reading this book on antigravity

I can’t put it down.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_hate_p_values
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
Here is a pun for all my bible reading friends

In an alternate universe, God sends popeye down to speak to moses. When Moses asks Popeye who he is, he responds
"I yam who yam"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
I’ve been reading this book on Anti-Gravity.

So far it has been impossible to put down.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knowbody-_-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
I was just reading this story about a guy who went through several tough breaks in life and couldn’t get ahead. One day he just stopped talking and his only way of communicating was through hand and body motion.......

Poor guy turned to a life of mime.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mjleak72
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
Mind reading?

Of course not, I love reading!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2shoesnotfellows
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity

It's impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.

I can’t put it down.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BethJ2018
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity...

...it’s impossible to put down.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carnegiefriend
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book titled "The Stockholm Syndrome."

I hated it at first, but now I love it.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
i was reading Yelp reviews of local mortuaries

found one that was rated cad-average.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
I've just started reading a book about Fort Knox,

but I'm finding it really hard to get into it.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
I was reading up on some Eskimo Litterature

But I wasn't really Inuit.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J0shua1985
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
I COULD tell you a top secret combination of words which result in the instant death of anyone hearing or reading them..

But then I'd have to kill you.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
I was reading a bedtime story to my daughter when the book abruptly ended. We were both perplexed, and my daughter asked, β€œIs it over?”, to which I replied,

β€œYep, that’s all she wrote!”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Campagnolo412
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
I was reading a book about helium

I couldn’t put it down

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Contonion
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
I slept so badly last night I started reading the dictionary

By 4am I was past caring...

πŸ‘︎ 258
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a horror book in Braille. Something terrible’s about to happen.

I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deadman590
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Don't bother reading that "ultimate" workout blog. "You won't believe" their advice is just to walk 1,000 meters a day.

Saved you a klick.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
A father was reading a book while his son was playing with toys on the floor. β€œDaddy, why is that book so thick?” asks the boy.

β€œIt’s long story,” replies the father.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustinJSJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
Careful reading of labels is so important...

I just bought paper trowels and they're useless.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaenHoffiCoffi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
During quarrantine I decided to enrich my science knowledge and started reading a book about anti-gravity.

I couldn't put it down.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/enganere
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone that hates reading but loves looking at maps

A mapsochist

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DongGundam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book on the history of glue.

I just can't seem to put it down.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
Just finished reading a book about how to make clothes quickly...

It was Sew-Sew!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johiam21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
I saw my son reading Fahrenheit 451, and I asked him whether he liked it.

He said, β€œIts pretty lit.”

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
Literally just happened: Wife completing our 2020 census reading off list of ethnicities. β€œWait... what is... Chamorro?”

Me: β€œChamorro? It’s Chursday.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nickfree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
Arguing with your wife is like reading a software license agreement. In the end...

...you ignore it all and click, "I agree"!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
I have hard time reading self help books...

I don’t why, I just can’t help myself.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nicholasmooth
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
(Me reading to my five-year-old) The leopard slug eats dead plants and fungi, but also hunts other slugs.

(Five-year-old) I'm a fun guy, so they would eat me.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/legisleducator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...

The Owl Jizz Era News.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nutsacktetherball
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
What do you call the Queen sipping tea while reading a book?

A novelty

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
I’m currently reading a book about gravity

It’s impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darkalan64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
Watch video in comments before reading this
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Getete
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a horror story in braille and something bad is about to happen

I can feel it

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tattedjb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
So I walked into my daughter's room with a tape measure the other day, and she was lying on her bed reading a book. I stood in the doorway and started slowly extending the tape measure, all the way across the room, until it touched her cheek. "What??" she asked me. My response...

"I'm measuring your patience!"

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Piccolo_Bass
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI β€˜s head.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 30k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Reading Glasses
πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I finally got around to reading that Stephen hawking book.

It’s about time.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghandee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
What's heavier, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane ? (Substitute 'litre' for 'gallon' if reading outside of USA)

Water because butane is a lighter fluid

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
I’ve been reading a book on anti-gravity

I just can’t seem to put it down

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harry_Maguire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
Reading all these jokes makes me go numb...

But reading mathematics-related jokes makes me go number

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WonderfulComment
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
I’m currently reading a book about anti gravity

I can’t put it down

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/agaconn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Date night with my wife and as she's reading the menu she asks, "Is anything popping out at you?"

I said, "I don't think it's that kind of book."

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti gravity

I can't put it down

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Get_Swazzed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Don't bother him he's reading.
πŸ‘︎ 238
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Holiday_Volume
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a book on antigravity

It’s impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InstaMemesBad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
I'm reading this horror book in Braille.

Something really horrible is about to happen... I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperGameGuy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
I just finished reading a book on the history of metal fasteners.

I have to say it was absolutely riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
My actual dad reading the newspaper out loud "learn to play piano by ear!"

Then he mutters under his breath "I'd rather use my fingers"

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mattc_guitar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Son: "Dad, I am so happy. I got a B in reading!"

Dad: "That's a D, idiot."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
What did the Millennial say after reading the Unabomber's manifesto?

Ok boomer.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoullessInferno
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
Reading all these posts makes me go numb...

But reading mathematics puns makes me go even number

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WonderfulComment
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said she was reading a banned book

I asked if it was about marching or jazz

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eclectic211
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I am reading a horror story in braille.

Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Exulton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I had to stop reading the book, The Swiss Cheese Murders...

The plot was full of holes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
I've been reading some Star Trek fanfiction lately

It has its prose and Khans

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AriDamal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
I began reading a horror story in Braille.

Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImSpecter12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, I’m so happy! I got a B in reading!”

Dad: That’s a D, idiot.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Today, my kid asked: β€œCan I have a book mark? I’m reading a book”

I burst into tears. He is 11 Years old and still does not know my name is John.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JalepenoPeppers
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t think this ebook I’m reading intended the pun but I sure did.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Just finished reading "All Quiet On The Western Front"

That book is really remarqueable.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/finch770
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
(A classic ) I’m reading a book about antigravity

It’s impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
My daughter caught me reading one of those coupon newsletters they send from the local grocery store...

Her: "Why are you reading junk mail?"

Me: "It's not, they have real news in here too."

Her: "No they don't...."

Me: "They sure do. I was just reading about a hitman who killed 3 people. He must not have liked them much, because he did it for only $1."

Her: "Nuh-uh, you're totally lying!"

Me: "Nope, looks like the hitman was named was Arty. He choked them to death apparently. "

Her: "Let me see..."

So I showed her the section I was reading:

ARTICHOKES 3 FOR $1

πŸ‘︎ 147
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tjohn184
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My 17yo daughter, while reading the ingredients of a new supplement that I’m taking, noticed that vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5 and B6 were included. She quickly asked, β€œwhat about B4? Where’s it?”

I quickly responded, it’s not there because you had it already.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hrd4Yew69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œChelsea’s Pizza” I said, reading a sign as we walked. My son replied β€œDid you say Elsa’s Pizza?” Realizing the opportunity I said β€œNo, but what kind of pizza would they serve at Elsa’s Pizza?

β€œFrozen pizza” said my son, rolling his eyes.

β€œExactly, my son. Frozen pizza.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jamikula
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book called "The History of Lubricants".

It's non-friction.

πŸ‘︎ 331
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoopdebop
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate reading manuals for staircases.

There are always too many steps.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Paper_piper_poet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Even though I insisted there was no need for repatriation, my neighbour has just brought round a root vegetable in exchange for the reading material I gave them.

So thats a turnip for the books.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hairyfacedhooman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I am teaching my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish β€œHarry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.

I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Reading posts
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Polar_Eagle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve just been reading a book about anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down!
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
I am reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whymustudodat
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity

It's impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shamudawhale51
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sb4410
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
I am reading a book about anti-gravity

Its impossible to put it down

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/extremeavYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity

It’s impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dakangzta
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a horror story in Braille.

Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it!

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a book about antigravity

It’s impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/midwest-distrest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI β€˜s head.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

It’s impossible to put down.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrPooMD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity

It’s impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrimsonShadowYT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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I am reading a book called β€œThe History of Lubricants.”

It’s non-friction.

πŸ‘︎ 440
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrKrabs7382
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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I taught my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish β€œHarry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.

I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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