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πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/South_Bathroom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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Don't know if this is a scam, but I just received a text saying I'd won Β£250 cash or 2 VIP tickets to an Elvis tribute night.

It says, " Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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What did the oyster text to the Lobster?

A Shellfie

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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Text dad joke from the grave.

Me: What do you think?

Wife: Too much symmetry.

Me: That's why burial places get cheap.

Wife: huh? why

Me: Too much cemetery.

Wife: don't talk to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Innarhythm
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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Text message conversation with my dad the other day, where I out-dadded him.

Dad: Give me your best knock knock joke. Or jokes. Do it when you can no rush.

Me: Does it have to be a knock knock joke or can it be any joke?

Dad: Knock Knock.

Me: Who’s there?

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NC0828
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Not actually a fake text convo
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedRex99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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I miss my deceased father and his dadjokes, so I figured I’d text him.

But I just got ghosted

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyveido
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
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My wife texted me saying "Your great!". I responded, "No, you're great!" She said the text made her day when she got home.

I guess she really likes being corrected on her grammar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
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Sad news. The man who invented predictive text has passed away.

May he rust in piss.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RambuDev
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
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Text me when you've arrived

me

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, β€œIf you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”

I replied, β€œI'm on the toilet, please advise…”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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The inventor of predictive text has died.

His funfair will be hello on Sundial.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
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I'm really tired of seeing just text posts here
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acherem13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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I told my son NOT to download any microbiology text books.

He just did and now we have like 40 viruses on our computer.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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I just had a text conversation with my daughter...

She was sitting in the car at the mall while her mother shopped. I was sitting inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and wishing I was dead.

Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee.

Me: I have no idea. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble.

Daughter: You're an idiot.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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text
πŸ‘︎ 210
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EpicCrab134
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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My wife went to get a pedicure with her mother. She sent me a text saying that they have an exfoliating, foot scrub that has CBD/Hemp oil in it and she was going to try it out...I replied β€œbaby, do you realize that you left the house with slippers on...

But you are coming back with high heels”. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirTurkTurkelton
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Every time my dad goes to the eye doctor, they ask him to read the smallest text on the chart out loud.

He says, "Printed in China."

This is a true story lol.

πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BasementGrowNerd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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My dad is going through heart failure, and the first text that I get from him after sending him a card says:

β€œNo more corny jokes, now just corn-orary jokes”

I’m glad he still has his sense of humor through these tough times

πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pranske3
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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I tried to order a table from IKEA, but I misplaced an umlaut in my search text. I got a couch instead.

So close, yet sofa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Hey I just read your text

Do you still want to hang out last week?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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You have $400, your daughter text she needs $200, and your son text he needs $150. How much do you have left?

Me: $400 and 2 unread messages.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/endustry1994
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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I have a friend that's scared of text in capslock, one day a guy sent him a full caps text

I can't belive how bold he was

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BernardoPiedade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Landed this in a text message thread to my SO

SO (at the market) : What kind of coffee beans do you want?

Me: Anything that doesn't say dark roast

SO: OMG! Hold the phone, I may have found something amazing!

Me: Fun fact, I am already holding the phone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchHarbour
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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My friend asked me how the text-to-speech feature works on his phone, but I didn't bother explaining it to him.

It speaks for itself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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When I get texts from numbers I don't know.

https://imgur.com/a/x1d2zdx

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattAmoroso
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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What to text when you're not going to be on time...

"I'm going to be β‚ˆ"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/errsta
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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When I text my dad, he calls me instead of texting back.

Boomerang

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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A friend sent me a text apologizing for the atrocious grammatical errors in his last message. I told him not to worry

I speak Atrocian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haidukenshiruken
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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I work at a vet and my dad texts me this:
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jRaeLupa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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5 hour pun battle with my dad over text
πŸ‘︎ 954
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Malian_Carver
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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You thought other puns were bad? wait until you (sorry I dunno how to add text to images and i'm new to reddit)
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moneybrainz99
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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My 15 year old sent a text asking me to pick him up from school and added "not in your pyjamas".

So I'm wearing his, because good dads listen.

πŸ‘︎ 425
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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This legen-dairy text I received earlier tonight
πŸ‘︎ 797
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LOD2001
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
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What crime do you commit when you throw a text book?

Textual Assault

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirat692157
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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What did the drug addict text his girlfriend?

Send ludes.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoHandedShanks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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I like jokes that make fun of accents. You like jokes that don't work in text form.

Potato potato.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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When the text turns gray it means you’ve

Reddit

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/da-chillsYT
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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Broke up with my girlfriend Ruth via text this morning.

I'm ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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What did Rudolph text Santa?

Nothing, he just left him on red.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaesquared
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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My wife sent me a text message only reading "EARTH"

It meant the world to me

πŸ‘︎ 269
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrow-s
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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My wife was having a stressful day at work and just sent me a text "I'm losing my mind!"

I texted back "it's all in your head".

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimothyLux
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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I heard my wife's eyes roll through text...

Wife: Stopping at the bar for a drink after work.

Me: Would you bring some whiskey home?

Wife: 10-4

Me: = 6

Edit: this particular bar has a liquor store up front.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaosX422
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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A wife sent her husband a romantic text message…

She wrote: β€œIf you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.”

Her husband texted back: β€œI’m on the toilet, please advise.”

πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaronh1202
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband the following text...

β€œIf you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!!!” The husband, being a non-romantic sort, replied... β€œI am on the toilet. Please advise.”

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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PSA: Do NOT download any text books about pandemics.

My son did and now he has a bunch of viruses on his computer.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Don't know if this is a scam but I just received a text saying I'd won $250 cash or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute night.

It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.

πŸ‘︎ 300
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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