I hate the word "xenophobia", it sounds so...
If you spell the words “Absolutely Nothing” backwards, you get “Gnihton Yletulosba,” which ironically means...
My wife regularly confuses the words Burro, and Burrow.
She doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground.
I invented a new word....
What word has the most letters in it?
The post office.
(Courtesy of my 8 year olds).
I invented a new word today:
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
Sometimes I use big words I don’t fully understand.
It makes me sound more photosynthesis.
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words before he kicked the bucket
"Do you wanna see how far I can kick that bucket?"
79% of people don't know opposite words for the following.
"Son, I heard you got punished for using the 'F ' word in class. That wasn't fun was it ?"
My teacher asked me to make a sentence with the word defence, defeat and detail
When a horse jumps over defence defeat go first the detail
Do you know what's the deepest word in English?
I'm trying to get better at making jokes from blending words together, but all my attempts turn out bad
Despite all my effort, I can't produce more than a poormansteau at best
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me..
"Would you stop shaking the fucking ladder?!"
I don’t like spelling the word “definitely”
I always end up spelling it defiantly
Who do British people pronounce the word as Bri ish?
Because they drank all the tea
What is the longest word?
Smiles. Because there's a mile between the two s.
I have this pathological fear of two letter words.
I get terrified just thinking about it.
Teacher: use the word geometry in a sentence
Student: One day, an acorn fell off, landed and sprouted. It grew and grew, and one day it woke up and said “gee, I’m a tree!”
What's another word for Photosynthesis?
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.
I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
Ok this needs a bit of context: 猫 is a Chinese word that is read as 'mao'
What's the most common word that only contains one letter?
A man walks into an open casket funeral and approaches the widow at the front. He asks: "Mind if I say a word?". "No, go ahead" she replies.
"Bargain" the man says.
"Thanks" the woman replies. "That means a great deal."
I got the words "Jacuzzi" and "Yakuza" confused
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia
While waiting for a school-related live stream, me and my friend decided to throw words at each other and make puns out of them. This is one of my most proudest puns.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
"Son !!! I heard you got punished for using the 'F' word in class. That wasn't fun, was it ?"
You should never use the plural of a word when you should be using the singular
Is buttcheeks one word
Or should I split them apart?
Some foreign languages have gendered words.
What is the perfect 's' word
Shout out to whoever created the word "plethora".
My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".
I invented a new word today...
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My son asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
I just invented a new word!