How would Uno be used if it was a verb?

Come on! You know it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blommebly98
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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How did the Verb pay for its gender reassignment?

By a trans-action.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Why were the nouns afraid of the verbs?

Because the verbs were always so intense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loki8382
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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A subject and a verb walk into a bar and have a disagreement.

They walks out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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I'd like to report that a man was eaten by a verb

That's the whole story. Verb ate'im.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sir_deadlock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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What do you call a verb that went professional?

Wait for it.....

A Proverb (Pro-Verb)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetty_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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So you're telling me like the verb ring has second form rang and sing has sang, the verb think also works the same way? Well, no thanks.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devmittal_civ16
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Do you know what's inconvenient about English verbs?

They're rather tense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vitsesen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Latin verbs are understandably pessimistic, because they are always being declined.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shagminer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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We had a pop quiz on conjugation of the verbs "ser" and "estar"...

I wasn't expecting the Spanish inquisition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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This sentence no verb.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DigleDagle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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reΒ·vamp verb /rΔ“Λˆvamp/
  1. Make a previously cured vampire a vampire again . "Dracula attempted to revamp his ex-bride." synonyms: refang.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Where did the verb stay when they camped?

Past tents!

Where will the verb stay when they camping on the moon? future tents!!

what did the verb get for their birthday? present tents....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sbeckeriv
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn.

He just didn’t cut it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellgames01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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Dad, are we pyromaniacs?

Yes we arson

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
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I hope the standards of this sub are low enough
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yomamama69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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After seeing a dead bird I had to tell my 4 year old what it means.

I said it Δ­t : pro. Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; an action; or an abstraction.

pro. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dumbstupidhuman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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Vacuum go brrrr.
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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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finger

Did you read it as a noun or a verb?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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I hate it when people say humour is only subjective.

It can also be a verb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeSanti
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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I just finished reading a book called "Like oranges but smaller"

by Amanda Rin

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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I can understand 4 feet, 5 feet, 7 feet and 8 feet

But I can't fathom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oshaboy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2017
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Today is National Waffle Day. Not sure how I feel about that.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCheshireCody
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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The Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar.

Things get a little tense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vibronicpoppy82
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
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Some people are pro-life, others are pro-choice. As an English teacher however....

I am pro-verb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatonekid80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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I want to the perfect pair of shoes

But it'll take some sole searching

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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Grammar nerd dad joke.

Me: January is almost done. Then it will be February.

My girl: Yeah! Then I can finally be eight.

Me: Yes, but the correct form of the verb would be "eaten."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bydawee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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An unbridled masterpiece of a horse pun to one of my students this morning. It's a long setup, but dads will appreciate it. This one really happened as written.

So, I'm a Spanish professor, and I gave a final exam this morning. One of the last parts was that students had to write a paragraph using reflexive verbs in which they describe their daily routine. Since the class only had nine students in it, I told them that if they wanted to wait, I would grade their exams for them and tell them their class grade.

It was an open-book final exam (11 pages long), so I was in my office, and a graduating senior finished first and gave me her exam. When I got to her paragraph, I saw that she had written in Spanish that every day she woke up, got up, took a shower, got dressed, brushed her teeth, ate breakfast, and then she and her friend Emmy went horseback riding. Now, I knew that she didn't go horseback riding, ever, but that it was vocabulary from the previous chapter. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Horseback riding? Really?
Her: Yep!
Me: Every day?
Her: Yep!
Me: Every single day?
Her: SΓ­, SeΓ±or.
Me: I guess you could call it a stable routine then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Got dadjoked by my five year-old cousin

Me: What's on your shirt? Him: Dinosaurs! Me: Have you ever seen a dinosaur? Him: No. They all died. That's why they're called die-nosaurs.

Kid has a bright future.

Edit: verb tense

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tasty_rogue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2014
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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From a Latin FAQ (x/post from r/jokes)

Q: In latin, when pairing foods with the verb edo ("I eat"), what case should you use? A: The om-nom-nominative.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DintyMooresLaw
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
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Dad joked my employees

Two of my employees were discussing the TV show Vikings. One told the other that Viking was originally a verb meaning raiding as in "I'm going Viking." I said. "That's just Swedish for I want to cycle. I'm going Viking."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ofbu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2014
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Why my children won't play Mad Libs with me anymore

"Adjective?"

"Abstract."

"Verb ending with -ing?"

"Bring."

"Food, plural?"

"Soup."

(Glares, writes "soups.") "Adverb?"

"Very."

"Noun?"

"Noun."

"Yes, a noun."

"Noun."

"THAT'S NOT A NOUN."

"Yes, it is!"

"Okay, fine ... Part of the body?"

"The."

"Noun?"

"Verb."

"DAAAAAADDDDYYYYYYY"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevinb9n
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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