I still can’t believe she holy ghosted me
The weird thing is she could care less when I text my O’s
Boomerang
Adding a conversation with my gf:
"How are you 😷?"
"I'm a bit 😷 but I'd be 😷 if you were here 😷😷😷."
It's getting really confusint guys
Wear a bullet proof vest while texting so you don't get screenshot. Ouch
Because the mammoth was to young to predate the dinosaur.
Dad: Hello Mom: Who are you? Dad: Andrew Mom: And? Dad: ...rew
You could say I holy ghosted him.
For it is an early sign of typo-thermia.
https://s15.postimg.cc/ryjmvgj2z/FBB124_EF-_C0_BC-44_D4-_A359-27_F2_A36_F1193.jpg
Now, he has nokia.
Me: Jurassic World is also out that week on the 12th.
Dad: You can go with Mom to that one.
Me: You don't care about dinosaurs?
Dad: They're dead to me.
Me: Haha. I love you.
Friend: My gym membership feels like such a waist atm
Me: Do you not think it's hip to go to the gym any more?
Friend: I think I ain't got time with a new born
Me: Can you not stomach it?
Friend: Well I got to do school runs and that fir the time being and K in the morning and Liam in the afternoon then home dinner putting kids down time is just gone
Me: Yeah, I've got a gut feeling you won't be working out as much as you used to anymore
W: I feel like a zombie, so tired M: But do you want to eat brains? W: No, but I definitely thought I could fall asleep on the toilet M: That would be shitty...
A few minutes pause
W: You think your funny... M: You're M: And no M: I think I'm dad, I've never met a funny. W: Omg I can't
http://i.imgur.com/xe2QUub.png
I say "naw, like the opposite." "Oh, so a beat down"
My dad texted me to remind me to turn in my rent, he thinks I'll forget something important like that I guess. I didn't respond from his initial text message so he quickly sent me another
"Please confirm. Roger over and out."
I responded saying "Thank you!" he was clearly not happy with this and said
"You're supposed to say "Roger..Over" at the end of your communication. Over"
I replied "Roger I love you. Over"
My dad responded with "My name is Dad, not Roger. What the Hell? Over" ...
I will never understand his humor.. But it makes me laugh.
I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”
... but then I found out they were just alternative fax.
Me: I think I'll do this on the phone.
Her: Good call
Me: Really?
Her: Get the pun. Come on
http://imgur.com/a/jEneQ
Me: I just go on reddit during my breaks. I find it a good way to pass time on my phone without using heaps of data like tumblr does Sister: That's true.. but I mainly just read fanfics Me: I'm trying to not read fabrics bc I have so many books to read Sister: Lol you read fabrics? Me: Nah, reddit has better threads than fabrics
No response? That's $100 more for me!
Girlfriend : Can you text my dad and let him know thanks for dinner?
Me : Yeah sure, I replied. I tried to text "Thanks for dinner."
Girlfriend : Delete that text and take the period out. I'm not a period person.
Me : But you are a girl...
Girlfriend gives me side-eye.
Currently watching the movie Straight Outta Compton while texting this girl that I have a date with tomorrow night.
She mentioned that she is drinking a glass of wine but put a bunch of ice in it. Six big cubes.
I responded with "wow 6 ice cubes? This movie that I'm watching only has one ice cube in it"
She laughed. Looks like our future's set.
Me: This is so weird, he's got your hair and your eyebrows!
Him: Well, he better give them back.
Me: .....
Me: "Please let Dad know that both of the dogs have pooped. 💩"
S'mom: "Will doo-doo."
Me: "You've been married to him too long."
http://imgur.com/VAVK05G
This happened during lunch hour while I was texting a friend. The conversation was boring and mundane until:
She: R U having a girlfriend?
Me: No, I am not having a girlfriend. I am having chicken.
She: Umm...Where did chicken come from????
Me: Egg. Chicken came from egg!
This happened a while back when my dad first got his iPhone, he started texting with us on an app. Prior to this my sister was teaching him how to use shortcuts like brb , cya , gtg etc
Dad:Hey you there?
Me: Yeah, what's up?
Dad: rtcyr
Me: ..huh?
Dad: RTCYR
Me: wtf are you saying
Dad: R.T.C.Y.R
Dad: it's dirty
Me: -_____________-
At that moment I understood what he was trying to say " remember to clean your room"
Dad: Your cousin is pregnant. Due in December.
Me: Whoa!!!
Dad: Too late for Whoa!!! It's giddy-up from here on out.
" The Zimbabwe Cricket Board have just announced that they discovered ebola in their cricket team, but this has not caused any concern since they also found ebatsman & efielda..."
Her: "I'm rolling my eyes at you."
Me: "That's weird. I can only roll my Rs."
It was the highlight of my day.
Her: All ready gassed up and ready to leave. I'm ready to be home.
Me: Did you eat Mexican food?
Her: Lol Shut up! You know what I meant!
*note: This is a direct quote. Grammar is not one of her strong suits.
I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”
Dad: Did you get the text I sent you?
SM: No, what did it say?
Dad: It didn't say anything you have to read it.
