Don't worry, he woke up.
You're fired.
It wasn’t hard work, after all, it was child’s play.
She really encouraged us to make a difference.
Co-teacher: "Students name" came in and said he lost his throat.
Me: Oh no! Did he check where he last remembered having it?
Co-teacher: He couldn't say.
They were paving the way for our youth.
To a second dairy school.
Too much Saxon violence.
Buy-no-meal theorem.
My dad was cleaning out the attic and came across this. He was proud all over again.
Elementary, my dear Watson
They grow a moostache
(thank you milk carton at an elementary school)
Cuz they have the necessary ELEMENTARY education.
http://i.imgur.com/wj3wczz.jpg
I'm an elementary school teacher. When kids tell me they're tired, hungry etc, I often give the typical "hi hungry, I'm Adam response"
On Friday a first grader came to me at recess and said "I'm bored!" I said "ok". She looked confused, then flustered, then blurted out "...nice to meet you Adam!" and ran away to play on the swings.
Holmeless
Watson asks where he got them.
Holmes replies, "A lemon tree, my dear Watson."
I am currently working at an art camp for kids in elementary school. It's mainly girls and they all love frozen. When they behave well do their work we put on music. Today I gave in and tried to put on the sound track but the computer froze so I said "it's frozen... Literally." No laughter and lots of whining. Asked one of my coworkers what to do and he said just leave it alone and don't worry about it. To which I replied "so I should just let it go?." I received a slow clap from my coworkers.
Dad: What about the elementary schools?
Me: "What is a cow's favorite elementary particle?"
Her: "..."
Me: "A Muon"
Her: "Get out."
After we were attacked by zombies in a graveyard, several party members wanted to figure out how they were turned into zombies. A bunch of us were rolling for arcana, and the like.
I rolled for Acana. I then said "okay, so I rolled a 16 for Acana. That means I know why these zombies we turned. They made a grave mistake."
Made sure to quiet everyone down before saying it. Everyone thought I was going to say something important.
"Elementary, my dear watts son."
So, it's service week at my school and I decided to serve locally at a nearby elementary school. I was assigned to a 3rd grade class. On the second day, the whole class was setting up Google Classroom, and after completing it, one of the little buggers looked at me said with a huge smile
"I'm done!"
Being a man of culture, I naturally responded with
"Hi Done! I'm [Dakkadence]."
The little girl looked at me, groaned, and facepalmed. She whined
"That's my dad's joke!"
With kids getting such an upbringing, I'm slowly regaining my faith for the next generation.
Edit: A word.
"Elementary" dear Watson "Elementary"
Watson walks in on Sherlock having sex with a younger looking girl..
"Bloody hell, Sherlock! What'd you think you're doing bangin' that chick. She looks like she's in highschool" Sherlock replied, "Elementary, my dear Watson"
As we are driving past my son's school he says,"Hi school!" I responded with, "no that is an elementary school"
Unsuspecting child being asked the question: "Under where??"*
"UNDERWEAR!!? EWW!"
*I was told this joke in elementary school by one of the teacher aides ...she randomly approached me as we were coming in from the playground and I was so confused by the question, I answered "What?" " I wasn't eating!" "What do you mean?" and "Under what?!" until she finally gave up and said "no you're supposed to answer "under WHERE" !!
I work at an elementary school and a 5th grader has been calling me Mr. Tall since 1st grade. I'm only 6 feet 3. He got me with this one today.
He said as I randomly walked down the hall, "hey Mr. Tall, you must have to use the Toll Free Lane on the highway."
My old chemistry teacher was full of dad jokes. On the first day of class, I noticed him wearing a tie with the periodic table on it.
Me: That's an awesomely appropriate tie!
Him: Well, it's a little elementary, don't you think? But I only wear it periodically."
So my mom is known for being a hard ass when it comes to grades, but this morning she tells us that in 5th grade she actually had straight C's on a report card. As she was describing how much she hates the school work back then, I couldn't help but stop her and say "so was it just too elementary for you?"
Everything’s alright, he woke up.
Elementary, my dear Watson
Sherlock, what do they call primary school in America? Elementary, my dear Watson.
Elementary school
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the elementary school? It's okay, they woke him up.
