Music puns sometimes hit the high notes
High but not so high IQ meme
The oven temperature was having fun getting high so the cookies decided to join in
I made some ideas into images to put on to phone cases. This is my favourite - Get Off Your High Horse
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
If you're a janitor at a dispensary, that makes you high maintenance
I went to the hardware store with a friend and the store had pallets of soil, seed, and fertilizer out front. We both stopped and looked at one of the pallets stacked high with bags of dried steer manure. The sign said, "Strict limit 2 per customer."
My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Everyone expected him to go postal from the way he was raised, on a high fiber diet...
He had a roughage childhood.
My wife couldn’t believe I took my old high school bully out tonight.
A guy was in a booth giving out free high fives
Another guy comes up to him and asks “do you have any down lows?” The guy said “sorry I’m all out, you were too slow”
[Credit to u/Vishalbharadwaj21] I have the high ground
I had mono in high school. I went to the doctor today with similar symptoms but two times worse...
Back in my day, high school sports athletic conferences wouldn’t let you participate if you didn’t keep at least a 2.0 grade point average. It seems times have drastically changed...
I just heard about 20,000 leagues under the C!
Auntie went up ladder into high part of house. High part of house not so strong. High part of house have dangerous things. I worry about Auntie. She up there long time. Later Auntie come down ladder, safe. Whole event was..
After a Viagra salesman died from the effects of the drug, the company gifted his family a casket of a new, high-end material.
They call it mourning wood.
I got one of those high desks for work and threw my chair away.
What might you call people who live in the high Arctic?
I once asked a Hawaiian if he had a high pitched laugh.
I thought I had a foolproof method for high stakes Rock, Paper, Scissors...
... Now I'm losing money hand over fist!
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
If I was a smart but unscrupulous high school student, I would start a business doing other kids' homework for a nominal fee.
The name of the business?
"Nerdy deeds, done dirt cheap"
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
This was at my high school
Stoners are lighter, cause only balloons get high
Each time you light with a lighter, the lighter gets lighter untill the light so light that it will not light
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
Bernie setting the Sanders high!
A high school girl was on her way home from a party, got knockout drunk, and shat on herself and all over her friends.
She was a real party pooper
This is where getting high everyday will land you.
They were high-tops
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what they were laced with but I was tripping all day.
Did you hear about that new high-tech shovel?
It was sure groundbreaking!
My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.
I said, “Yes, but I was part of the control group.”
What did the mother airplane say to the child airplane when the child was acting high and mighty?
"I've had it with your altitude"
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high...
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high...