Rachel McAdams' height is 5'4, which is the average height of an american female.

She's a mean girl.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noinks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.

They didn't like me critter sizing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiskeyChugger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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What's the height of stupidity?

2 bald men fighting over a comb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
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There is a mysterious body of water where every wave is the same height, only one type of fish is ever caught there, and the tides come in and out at the same time every day.

It’s called the Redundant-Sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pockets-sandy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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"Stop making fun of my height."

I'm sorry. I didn't know you had such a short temper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miggitman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Patient goes to the doctor to talk about his crippling fear of heights.

Doctor: looking over the patients information Looks like you've gone from 5'10 to 5-

Patient: Starts screaming

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Even though he had an extreme fear of heights, why did the butcher resolve to climb all the way up the ladder?

The steaks were too high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VNPimpinella
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Why does every pothead want to be 5'8" in height?

Then they literally 4'20"

πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyOhMyPancakes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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When making a talking point, always multiply length by width by height...

...it speaks volumes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJoker1988
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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My roommate Esther and I wanted to get a new rug for our apartment, but we didn't have a tape measure. So we had to use Esther's height to guess the approximate dimensions we wanted. We bought a rug one Esther wide by two Esthers long. You could say we...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/modestmolerat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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My narcissistic friend met a girl his height who also thinks only of herself...

They're on the same "I" level!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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Heights
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cat-Kun
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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Afraid of heights

Plumbers are afraid of heights because they fear plunging to their death.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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Daughter:I have a fear of heights....

Son: I suffer from a fear of clowns

Mother: My fear is of dying

Dad: Italian gangsters-thats Mafia

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Why do short people hate jokes about their height ?

Because it just go over their head...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/godofbob2
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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The average height of a dwarf is 3 feet

That's a little gnome fact

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tempsilon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently, as people have been making comments about her height

So when she gets home from work, i’ve got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I’m going to run her a nice hot sink

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrowerNotAShower2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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The heights people go to watch a game imgur.com/Ld0CsOD
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tkierk182
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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My teenage son is very short for his age and is built like a midget, and recently he's been very depressed about his height.

It didn't help matters when I suggested he talk to a therapist about his low elf-esteem.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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I'm not afraid of heights

It's the ground I'm suspicious of.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/niggynagga4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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I'm reaching new heights with my puns imgur.com/APzd9We
πŸ‘︎ 374
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πŸ‘€︎ u/State_Farm_Jake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2016
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Someone asked me if I knew anything about Sumeria. I said it’s height times width.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HowManyMonkeys
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
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I'm no longer afraid to say what I really think of roller coaster height requirements.

I've had it up to here.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
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Why are drug addicts afraid of heights?

They're too high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dimensionsstudio
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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At the height of my lunacy, I would dig in my lawn like my life depended on it.

It's all well now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Veni
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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Wanted to measure my height with a tape measure but couldn't do it alone. "Dad, can I borrow you for a minute?"

"Sure, as long as you give me back"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinie_Snipah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2014
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What do you call a bird that is afraid of heights?

A chicken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValarDohairis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
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If I owned a roofing company, and interviewed an applicant with a fear of heights.....

......I wouldn't "higher" them......

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
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What insect becomes more accepting as it gains height?

A taller ant

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxGhenis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
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I was talking to my dad about my height...

Today I was talking to my dad about my height and he said "Well you do have quite big genes!" and I replied "I have to, otherwise my legs wouldn't fit."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/upsidedownie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2015
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If I was a farmer, how would I measure my height?

From my head, tomatoes.

Credit to /u/drsuperwholock

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabenfoodle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2016
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r/puns can you help me out with one on height?

I'm texting a friend and made a joke about his height which he responded with "that's a low blow". I wanted to make a snappy comeback with something along the lines of "I guess you could say it was a _________" but I'm drawing a blank. Maybe you can help out? :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iHateTexting
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2013
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How do pirates measure their height?

In yaards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/macrolinx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2016
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Height.

Wanted to give a big shout out today to...my legs!! Without you legs, I feel like I'd be at least two feet shorter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/margraves
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2015
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Height

Grandma: He's grown, hasn't he?

Dad (putting hand on top of my head): No, he still reaches to the bottom of my hand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poi830
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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He's reaching new heights

Me: "I sometimes look up at my school's ceiling and wonder how it gets dirty"

Dad: "I guess it's not their top priority...heh get it? Top!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirr250631
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
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My SO's terrified of heights and we were rock climbing...

I told her, "I got you honey, I won't let you down".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeggieLomein
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2015
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My mother defending her height

My mom is not more than 5 foot, so we all tease her about being short. My daughter is now as tall as her, so in church my mom is introducing her granddaughter to some friends and says that she has to wear elevator shoes to stay taller than her. I chime in, "yes, sometimes her elevator doesn't go to the top floor." The couple lost it, my mom was stunned, my daughter laughing her head off.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eeeper
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2014
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