So yall know how people used wooden dentures in the 19th century? I wonder if women ever tried or thought of using the same idea to increase boob size.

That would be something, now wooden tit?

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phx14_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
I was at the store with my wife picking out a turkey and she seemed unimpressed by the size. She asked "do they get any bigger?"

I looked her in the eyes and replied "no honey, they're dead."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The car dealership in my town just doubled its size.

Now it can offer a whole lot more.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
A guy told me the size of my heart matters more than my physical size.

Good thing I went to the cardiologist before the gym.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kngfbng
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.

He was sailing on the seven C’s

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.

It's an equal Adderall triangle.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Loofahs comes in 4 different sizes...

Small, Medium, Large and Vandross.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Ive invented a product that increases the size of your basement...

I hope it is a big cellar.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the biggest size of soup you can order in restaurants?

Souper size

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
To all the women out there who say size doesn’t matter:

You are all extremely shallow

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DwelveDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is annoyed because his dog keeps trying to pick fights with dogs five times his size.

I told him he shouldn’t have adopted that Cocky Spaniel.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaLiquidX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you don't want to buy sandwiches to your co-workers, just buy them with mistakes: Other kind of bread, other size...

Sorry, wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potato23860
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What size shoes does a bear wear?

He wouldn't wear shoes. He's got bare feet.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShawnOfTheDread
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Fortune tellers only come in one size

Mediums

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sq009
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter was so amazed at the size of her moms woman toes.

I offered to show her my mentos.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/postedByDan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What size of bed did Freddie Mercury sleep in?

Queen

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moralTortilla
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
They only had size of shirt available at the psychic convention.

Turns out they're mediums.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDave78
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was just trying to convince me to spend $1k on a new king size bed...

...I told her I’d have to sleep on it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ih8YourCat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife tried to help me and washed my bear costume in hot water. It shrunk outa my size!

I was furrious!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Dewey's doctor has been keeping track of all of his moles. The location and size of them. He's so thorough that he measures them all the way down to tenths.

He called it the Dewey deci-mole system..

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What tree has fruits of all shapes and sizes

The geometree

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agfwouldbecool
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
There has been some good news today as a plus-size clairvoyant announces they are releasing a charity calendar, with pictures of them in their underwear.

Fans of the psychic say that they are looking forward to seeing a large medium in smalls.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megamouth2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
They have a new birth control pill for men that's the size of a small pebble.

You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My buddy John gave his size 13 boots to his little brother, Phil. Problem is, Phil wears size 9.

John left large shoes to Phil.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lameguy13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did they say about the couple who had the same shoe size?

They were sole mates

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.

The N’s justify the means.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What's my shoe size?

1 ft

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magnificent-Moe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A horse walks into a bar with a maths problem that says 'If a shape has a width twice the size of its length, which is the greatest in size?'

The barman says 'y, the long face'

πŸ‘︎ 212
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather would talk to ghosts who’d tell him what size clothes to wear,

He was a medium.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How much did it cost me to get the perfect size Christmas tree for my house?

Tree-fitty

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catscam7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the herbs that were phoning everyone, trying to panic-buy all different sizes of measuring cups?

Desperate thymes call for disparate measurers.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My dog Zeus is famous for his size, in Mexico.

Mexicans I've never met walk up to me and say "Hey Zeus! That's a big dog!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
If caprisun ever made a larger drink size

It would be called CapriFather

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntuso
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If there was a big enough difference in the size of my shoulders, you know what that would be?

A delta.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brookesies3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Having size 15 shoes is a great accomplishment.

After all... It’s no small feet.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TF79870
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to have a full size wooden car. Wooden wheels, wooden engine, wooden seats.

BUT, when I tried to drive it, it wooden go.

Credit : u/johnnycrosshatch

πŸ‘︎ 823
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TailBullet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report
It's hard to judge the size of boobs under a shirt...

...because they're below see level

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uraffululz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
There is a gang of shoplifters going through the city systematically stealing clothes in size order.

Police believe they are still at large.

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JulianCrisp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you measure the size of a picture made out of pennies?

In "cent"-ipixels.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_PoodlePants
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Rappers come in 2 sizes

Big & Lil

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/captainkrinking
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
If a King gets a King size mattress and a Queen gets a Queen size mattress, then what does a Prince get?

An heir mattress.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you go from a twin size bed to a queen size bed?

you would have more bed room but less bedroom

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wired223
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
When my father left to buy cigarettes ten years ago, he forgot to put on his size 14 boots, and I'm keeping them because of the sentimental value.

That's why I'm still carrying around these huge daddy-shoes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djknutbanan
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
The car dealership in my town just doubled its size.

It can offer a whole lot more.

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What size clothes do psychics wear?

Medium.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeteAllan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What size shirts do psychics wear?

A medium.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gynnam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackTMJones
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a gang of shoplifters going across town systematically stealing clothes according to size.

Police say they're still at Large

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lostsharpie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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