Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
One small Step for Humanity.
Doctor: "Relax David, It's just a small surgery. Don't panic!!"
Me: "But my name isn't David."
Doctor: "I know, I'm David."
I just have a small joke about a pencil.
Never mind there is no point.
What’s a small mosque in Tijuana called?
That costume is too small to be a harp!
Are you calling me a lyre?
At camp this year, I had to ring a small bell right at daybreak...
What do you get if you put a chicken strip in a small fridge?
I have a terrible fear of very small greenhouses
A small blue garden bird made of mahogany. Be great if I had a related joke...
Taking a picture of big foot is no small feat.
What do you call a small insect that bites Muslims in their house of worship?
I went to a costume party dressed as a harp. The host said my costume was too small to be a harp.
I replied, "Are you calling me a lyre?"
First time my dad took me to church I noticed there was a lady disrobing dolls and putting the clothes on a small cross. I asked my dad what she was doing.
He said "Oh that's just a cross dresser..."
I owed my friend $20 so I gave a few dollars, some loose change, and a few small pieces of fried chicken
I made myself a small open pie filled with sliced apples and sugar, but I misplaced it shortly after. Suddenly I was no longer hungry
I'd completely lost my appletart
Small Pepper needs a blanket
Dad: Can you please put a little blanket or a tiny sweater on him?
He's a little chilli!
you know why I don’t like eating small types of fish
because they are little fishy
Those small packets of ketchup are here because the big bottles didn't know what a condiment.
What type of waves appear on small beaches?
I used to get small shocks every time I touched metal objects, but I don't anymore.
A little too small
Why can't you surf microwaves??
Cause they are too small
What do you call a story about a small horse?
I waited all afternoon to get my Covid vaccine in our small remote village, by the time it was my turn, they were administering them by candlelight...
I’m really not sure how effective they are, seems as if they are a shot in the dark.
A small rodent lives in a apartment next to my computer keyboard.
9 times out of 10 a carnivore will choose a small space rock over human flesh...
Because the rock is a little meteor.
It's a small world Timmy
but I wouldn't want to paint it
I'd like to share a small victory with you all today
From my son: What do you call a small Embassy?
An Ember-lake
I'm so proud!
What’s small, brown, and really, really, sticky?
Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
What did the big chimney say to the small chimney
You’re too young to smoke
Scientists have developed a microscopic needle that is too small to be seen by the naked eye...
I just don't see the point.
What washes up on the shores of small beaches?
A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father
is this a dad joke?
No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.
Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.
My buddy Neil decided to get into a new kind of business designing keyholes for small houses
So we gave him the nickname shack keyhole Neil
Why are French omelettes small?
Because in France one egg is an oeuf.
(My children are not laughing)
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
A thief in a small town stole all the toilets...
Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'
If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?
I am waiting to recover from injuries caused by a small sharp tool:
A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland
The damage is expected to be 50 square blocks.
making it this far has been no small feet
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