Plain little pun
Why did the guy with gluten allergy skip leg day?
'Cause he couldn't train his glutes!
A cheeky little pun from /r/TheyDidTheMath.
A little pun for everyone. Not mine but posting for a friend.
Some context: so some guy thought that a close up picture of a fig was the inside of a vagina and then some dude told him that and this guy on Reddit made a nice little pun
A short man posting here might be a little Pun Gent
A Little Pun on the Job
So I have a funny anecdote from work but my friends don't like puns as much as I do, so I'm hoping someone here will appreciate it. This happened last night.
My lead walked up to me to let me know a coworker wasn't there, he says, "Bill is dead and we killed him."
I give him a blank stare because I didn't comprehend him immediately and he goes, "it was a reference to Nietzsche." (German philosopher known for "God is dead and we killed him.") "it was a Neitzsche joke."
So I responded with "that's cool bud, but I believe it's pronounced 'niche'."
He stutters for a moment, "no, it's- oh."
I burst out into laughter and he walks away with a "fuck you". 😂
Saw a cool picture on Reddit, friend made a clever little pun.
I heard a little pun the other day
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
I think my sink is a little clogged
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
Found this little ✨g e m✨ on r/technicallythetruth
My son asked me "where does poo come from?" I was a little flustered, but did my best to explain about food, stomach, intestines, digestion, etc.
He looked confused, then stared at me in stunned silence. After a few seconds he asked "And Tigger?"
A Little Con Descending
https://preview.redd.it/9auxavpt25d61.jpg?width=481&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=420abab00fc836d0bea8185270be4b870d10b133
My daughter was watching The Little Mermaid so I asked her if she knew why Sebastian was kicked out of college?
It's because all his grades where under da c
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
Christmas is getting a little punny around here this year
Here’s a little early access to a pun I made. I’m not sure if this joke has been said before but I hope not. I love making up puns
The Mandalorian came across Little Ms. Muffet having difficulty with her meal. He stopped to help, letting her know...
"These are the curds and this is the Whey."
Why does the little mermaid wear seashells?
Because she couldn't fit into D shells
Where are those little 8oz cans of Coke manufactured?
When I found my little son on the floor, I briefly thought a murder took place
Fortunately, it was just a kid napping.
This might sound a little racist...
...but I hate the 100 meter dash.
Little miss muffet had the right of whey
My wife often uses the promise of raunchy sex to get little jobs done around the house.
A little something I Whipped up
3 months since I had COVID and I’ve still got very little sense of taste.
Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus. Smiling, I said to her...
"Honey, it’s the little things that count!"
What do you drink if you are only a little thirsty in Minneapolis?
I'll be in the bathroom a little longer this morning...
Because I've been holding this in since last year. Out of the way!
Buying a box of Duraflame logs always requires a little thought...
I have to decide if I have $20 to burn.
The little girl lined her dolls up at the cookout.
What do Father Christmas's little helpers learn at school ?
I caught my little 4 month old niece chewing on her hand
So I turned to my wife and asked, who gave her the handburger? 🍔
I always wanted my sister to have a son that I could pass on my wisdom to, but I'm so happy she had her little girl, Denise.
Because a kid named Denephew would probably get picked on a lot.
What do you call a little person psychic on the run from the cops?
I’m sick of having great little ideas all the time, I think I have...
My wife asked me, “Are you sometimes surprised as to how little people change?”
I said, “Actually, the process is the same. Apart from their tiny clothes.”
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog shit on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one:
When I was little I was like this:
What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
What is the first thing Santa's little helpers learn in school ?
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