Little Sister Puns

Now she’s in the ICU

Me: What?

Her: A spelling bee

She said "I'm having a light snack."

We’re just kidding

I told her "idk"

"Dad, what does pasteurised mean?"
Dad picks up milk carton.
"Well this is milk,"
He slowly moves the carton past my sisters face.
"...and now it's past-your-eyes-'d milk"

Her: “Yeah we read Alice in Wonderworld today!”

Me: “Oh yeah that’s the one down in Florida, right?”

I can’t wait to have my own kids and fully ascend.

My Little Sister: No! What happened?!

Dad: Dont worry, he woke up.

My Little Sister: ROLLS EYES

Me: Hahahahahaha! Nice.

My Little Sister: Omg! Is this funny?

Dad: No, THIS IS PATRICK! (We all really love SpongeBob SquarePants)

I GET UP TO GIVE MY DAD A HIGH FIVE AND HIS PHONE RINGS AS SOON AS I GET UP. IT'S MY MOM CALLING HIM FROM THE KITCHEN

Mom: Hi, I was wondering if I had the right number. Is this funny?

Dad: No! THIS IS PATRICK!

My Little Sister: Really?! You too Mom?!

Mom: No, I'm 49 sweetie.

My Little Sister: Nevermind! I'm watching, "Black Mirror," in my room by myself.

Dad: Sweetie, African American, don't just call them Black. That's not nice.

My Little Sister: ............. I hate you all.

• I know this isn't necessarily a,"Dad Joke." It's more of a conversation my Dad and Little Sister had. But it was seriously one of the funniest moments I've ever seen.

• I really love my family. Lol

Now he is broken.

Reading a newspaper, casually turn to my little sister and ask "can you help me with a crossword puzzle? The clue is Postman's bag"

Her: "how many letters?"

Me: "LOADS OF THEM!"

Sister : That idea makes no sense

Dad: It doesn't make sense, it makes dollars

Before I could put my own shoes on I would always ask m dad for help and This was his response every damn time.

me "daddy can you put my shoes on please"

Dad. "I can but I don't think they will fit me"

Followed this my dad would laugh hysterically and me whining saying "Nooo on meeeeee".

He said he didn't but asked if she had a sister named Subtracty

We were at the table, and my mom and dad were talking about when they were dating, and my dad says, "You know what? She's only made me 2 bad meals the entire time we've been married."

Then my little sister goes, "Yea, lunch and dinner."

We cracked up about it and we're still giggling.

Her: Wow, look at this coin purse. It cost twelve dollars.

Me: Why is it that expensive? It looks like it's worth less than half that.

Her: Well, you know...it is the Vera Bradley brand, and name-brand things always cost more.

Me: Well it seems like that is vera bradley priced.

I^felt^so^proud

She just can't stop Raven about it

And my older sister and I find it fairly funny. I'm chuckling to myself and my little sister says

>What are you laughing at?

I, in a stroke of genius, respond with

>Nothing. Not a shingle thing.

Me and my older sister laughed, my little sister just looked at me like I'm stupid.

I hope this is worthy of being called a Dad Joke.

She said we should go to the corner to warm up—it's 90 degrees!

She won't stop telling her joke too...

Me: I'll start this video again when you behave. (She was biting my shoulder)

Little Sister: Who's Have? (Pronounced like the "have" in behave)

Me: What?

Little Sister: WHO'S HAVE? WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HAVE?

Me: I'm so done with you.

Her: Do you want to play a game?

Him: What game?

Her: Depends...

Him: How do you play depends?

Sister: "Hey Dad, can I please have a horse for my birthday?"

Dad: "Sorry honey, don't have anywhere to put it."

Sister: Starts Crying "This is unfair, I never get what I want."

Dad: "C'mon now sweetheart, why the long-face?"

Sister: "STOP DAD! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!"

Dad: "Ok..ok..we'll get one. I'll go see if we can store it at the Neiigghhghbors house"

Dad proceeds to burst out laughing

The other day, my 11 year old sister came walking in the living room carrying this.

ginger bread

Her: "Somebody said you look like an owl!" Me: "WHO?!"

She just gave me a shit eating grin and laughed in my face.

This happened many years ago but it just popped in my mind, so i thought i'd share with you.

My dad came back home after work and told us that he had to work under the rain all day long, then asked us if it rained here too. My sister, who was 3 or 4 years old at the time, answered with "No, dad, only outside".

On a long car ride to the shore, I had to tell my younger brother to use his indoor voice to which he responded that we aren't indoors. My sister proceeded to count "1...2...3...4!" and said, "What are you talking about, we're inside the car and it has four doors." I made sure to let her know how proud I was of her and that I was happy someone other than myself made a dad joke.

So me and my family went on a whale watching trip on a Sunday afternoon. We were hungry so me, my dad and my sister waited in a concession stand line to buy snacks while we were on the boat. My dad tells my sister to grab what ever she wants and she looks at him with the biggest smile and says "Oh don't tell me that dad, Ima go...over board". Highlight of the trip.

sis: dad look, ice skating!

dad: no no, dear, you say: I AM skating.

Dad: SmartWater? You better buy it by the gallon.

My sister found a jar of molasses in the kitchen cabinet and asked what it was. The first thing I thought of to respond was "the last part of the mole to go down the hole." My mom just looked at me and shook her head in shame as I cracked up.

He called the first one 'rata-one-ee' and the other 'Ratatouille'

Me: This cd is so sick.

Sister: Why, does it cough a lot?

groans

My sister's in grade 9 and she stayed home for a week of school because she was sick. After school on Monday, she told me what she had missed and how things went. Sister: I caught up in all of my classes, but it turns out I was ahead in French. Me: Oh nice, and where was your body?

My younger sister was playing with my hand and exclaimed "I think I've found a new species!"

I replied: "That's not a new species, that's attached me, a currently known species"

Her: "Oh, I've never heard of a Me. Am I a Me?"

Brother: there's nothin like hotdogs cooked on the grill

Grandma: there's nothing like anything cooked on the grill

Sis: actually, everything on the grill has one thing in common, it was cooked on the grill

I'm not a dad, and this is probably one of the older ones in the book. My little sister just got her first car and I was grilling her on the details.

Me: How many wheels does it have?
Her: 4!
Me: Did it not come with a steering wheel?
Her: Ugh...

My 6 year old sister was drawing me a picture and she couldn't find the orange crayon. Sister: I can't find the orange! Me: Check the fridge!