My little brother's pun brought me to tears
For my birthday my brother bought me an elephant for my room.
I said "Thanks." He said "Don't mention it."
My brother said he didn’t like cat puns.
I asked why and he said, “They freak meowt.”
After a moment of me staring at him, he said, “Seriously, I’m not kitten.”
Bruce Lee had a vegan brother
My brother can't stand people with missing toes
My brother asked me why they're called dogwoods
I told him it's because they have ruff bark.
Thought of this while I was teaching my little brother about the wonderful world of colors
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...
... and as you can see, they were Wright
A lot of people say the me and my older brother look alike
I agree because I have his jeans
Why didn't the Grandmaster in Ragnarok know who Thor's brother was?
Was the information being kept low-key?
My little brother just came up with this: Why was the fully loaded hot dog cold?
Because it was a chili dog.
My friend said that he eats more than his brother.
I was more concerned by the fact that he eats his brother.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank...
What kind of music does Mufasa’s brother like?
Did You Know That Dr. John Dolittle has a vegan brother named Jack?
My brother and I are working on a tight deadline in making Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
George Clooney has a twin brother. Do you know what his name is?
I gave my brother a hot dog for Christmas.
...I always knew that he would relish his gift.
A conversation between my brother and dad
(Context: we are deciding what shirts to wear for family pictures)
Brother: I have a blue dress shirt, but it’s a little over the top
Dad: Don’t all shirts go over the top?
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.
He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
My brother was pissed when he saw I mated his wife
He bet $100 I would lose that chess match.
My eldest wanted to know why I wouldn't lend him any of my tools, but I let his younger brother, the prodigal son, borrow whatever equipment he wants.
Simple, I said, the prodigal son returns...
My brother used to go with a undercover cop called Ivy.
She turned out to be a plant.
I was painting my room with my brother....
....when I realised. He's not a very good brush.
My brother opens a box of cereals before finishing another, wasting them. Lets just say...
Just remembered a classic my brother-in-law dropped after my niece was born (A couple months ago)
My mother FaceTimed me so I could show her my sister and her baby
I went into my sister's room and said, "Hey mom wants to see you. Can you say a quick hello?"
Sister: Sure but just for a minute, I'm exhausted.
BIL, without dropping a beat: Hi exhausted, I'm a new dad!
Old but gold
Apparently, the producers of The Flintstones were planning to make one final episode where Fred’s brother marries Barney’s brother.
It was cancelled because it was the 60s and Americans weren’t yet ready to have a gay old time.
I had an argument with my brother about how to get to the next floor in the mall because he refused to use the stairs or the elevator
My next thought was: "Well, that escalated quickly"
What would the Property Brothers show be called if they were alien skeletons?
I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....
When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen
My brother has been making amazing chicken on the grill for as long as I can remember.
I’d say he’s a seasoned pro.
I told my brother ten jokes to make him laugh...
Over 100 years ago 2 brothers announced that they could fly.
Turns out, they were Wright.
How many brothers do robots have?
None. They only have transistors.
For years, my brother wanted to be an archeologist...
... but ten years in, his career lies in ruins.
My mom has 3 kids. My brother was born a gas, my sister a liquid and I am a solid. Yesterday my mom looked upset so I asked her what was wrong. She said "I'm pregnant"
So I said "Okay, what's the matter?"
I don’t really publicize the fact that I’m Thor’s brother.
My brother recently married some jello
Yeah, that wedding didn't set well
My brother broke his arm at the aquarium
We had to fetch a sturgeon.
My brother sees me near our tent, putting his E-reader on a pile of sticks.
He yells: "What the hell are you doing, Some_Dumb_Dude?!"
I say: "What's with the tone? You have to use Kindle to make a fire, Right?
'Ba dum tss'
He just sighs. "I hate you."
Lots of people know about Harley Quinn but very few people have heard about her twin brother who was stillborn...
Did you know Shakespeare had a brother who was a foot soldier in the military?
He would get so nervous before battle that he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. The say he wielded quite the shaky-spear.
Who was Bruce Lee's vegan brother?
You all know Albert Einstein was a genius. But did you know his brother Frank
Today I learned that Bruce Lee had a vegan brother.
Interesting fact, Bruce Lee has a vegan brother
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