my brother in law was addicted to the hokey pokey. it took him a while but eventually he...

turned himself around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weendul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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My brother in law does like to do mushrooms...

...but his use is fairly sporeadic.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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A brother becomes brother in law.

a sister becomes sister in law, a father becomes father in law, a mother becomes mother in law, a daughter and son becomes son and daughter in law, .

But, what does wife become?

Wife becomes the law.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abx098
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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My brother-in-law, a clinical psychologist, says he is cutting back the days and hours of his work week.

In short his practice is shrinking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Those brother in law pun skills
πŸ‘︎ 21k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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My brother-in-law taught his offspring a seasoning that is an excellent addition to omelets and egg strata...

It was good father-son-thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Me, to my brother-in-law after my vasectomy:

You know what the biggest difference is between you and me? I'll give you a hint. It's a vast difference.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOfAllTrades80
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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Those brother in law pun skills
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Last Thanksgiving I cut myself with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law walks up and grabs the bloody cut and starts twisting it. I screamed β€œOuch, what are you doing!!”

He says, β€œI’m applying the turn-a-cut!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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And now, a poem, courtesy of my brother-in-law

There once was a singer of old

Who then broke away from the fold

He won't give you up

He won't let you down

In short, you have been limeRick Rolled

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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Walking into Lowes with my father in-law, he got my brother in-law and I good.

As we are getting close to walking into the store we walk past three gentlemen standing outside and one of them is holding some lumber. My father in-law looks at them and says "Must be having an important board meeting, carry on gentlemen".

We died laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Praefectus27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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brother-in-law strikes again!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NunyaDaioh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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I almost answered the phone when my talkative German brother-in-law was calling me, but thankfully I recognized the number.

That was a Klaus call

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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My brother-in-law took us to a bad Chinese restaurant...

He apologized profusely, but I just told him, "You dim sum, you lose some."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrimmGryphon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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My brother in law just moved to Canada

He can’t work until he gets his permanent residency.

My wife said, β€œmaybe he could move pianos for cash, under the table.”

Her dad said, β€œit’s hard enough moving pianos, hows he going to move them under a table?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unmentionable123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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My brother in-law an I are going fishing tomorrow morning and my daughter asked what we are fishing for.

I told her, "just for the halibut (hell of it)"

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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Wasn't even my dad. Brother in laws dad got me good

We were all sitting on our back porch when a group or gaggle of geese flew by. We all said how weird it was that they fly like that. He said:

"Do you know why one side of the flying V is longer than the other?"

We all guessed a few things but no one actually knew. He grew that gay little old man smile on his face and said:

"Because there are more birds on that side"

What an evil man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/louievettel
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2014
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Made my brother-in-law throw an egg at me:

We're oddly competetive about our omlette-making abilities, so tensions were already high.

Him, attempting to flip an omlette:

"Damn, it folded"

Me:

"Y'know, omlette this one slide, but you better step it up"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soggy_Chewbacca
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
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My sister is expecting twins. My brother in law got her real good at dinner.

Brother in law, "you know our twins have already said their first words?" Sister, "Oh?" Brother in law: "Yeah... we're hungry, fetus!"

... I think there was even groaning in the uterus...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManChildMusician
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2014
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It took my brother-in-law 2 kids for him to settle into his role

https://imgur.com/a/583Ao

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FOX_SMOLDER
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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My brother-in-law told me he wanted to duel at midnight

I said I'd see him at High Moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Novatose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2017
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I think my my brother-in-law is ready to be a Dad.

So my sister is pregnant and very pessimistic from being very pregnant. They're discussing blood types at the dinner table and I walk in mid conversation.

Bro-in-law: "You are A negative, and I am trying to B positive."

My sister started crying, I think because the joke was so bad.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
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My sister in law dad joked my brother!

Brother to his wife: "Colleen" just called, Sister in law: "What was she Colleen for?"

Laughter ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trenton00
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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Brother-in-law dad joked my sister

My sister: We were out of brown sugar so I used sugar and molasses. Brother-in-law: How did the moles feel about that?

He then proceeded to laugh like a maniac when I groaned loudly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_pathetic_owl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2014
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My nephew was playing with a corded telephone and walked so far the cord was stretched out. Enter my brother-in-law

"What are you doing? Making a long distance call?"


He was so proud of the joke he called me in as the only other person who would appreciate it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnFoxpoint
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2015
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My in-laws have a dining room table that converts from a square to a round brother-in-law said it was a transformer...

I said it was Oaktimus Pine...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the__blank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2014
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While on a vacation last summer, my brother-in-law was telling me that he just got a deal on some really nice empty wooden Cuban cigar boxes as souvenirs for only $4 each - I replied...

"So, it was a good deal, but no cigar"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/obedienthoreau
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2016
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Brother in law hit us with this one

My brother in law and I were helping my father in law move an old wooden organ.

When we got it on the truck, I asked my father in law what he was planning on doing with it.

My father in law says he isn't sure. Maybe he will donate it.

My brother In law: I guess that would make you an organ donor.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
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Just had these gems dropped on me by my father and brother in law

Dad - what kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Me - idk dad Dad - SNEAKers

Brother in law - how do you make and egg roll Me - how? Brother in law - you push it.

They high five and laugh for about five minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahhvinnie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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My dad dropped this one on my brother-in-law today

We were talking about being ambidextrous, and my dad grinned at me, turned to my brother-in-law and said: "You know what? I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous."

My sister recently got married so my dad has a new person to use all his jokes on. :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheshamone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2013
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I asked my brother in law if he got a haircut

"Well, I got them all cut!"

Don't know how I didn't see it coming.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2015
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My brother in law my be a father...

My sister realized her dog tore the old skirt that goes under the Christmas tree and was talking about buying a new one.

Her: You and I can buy a new skirt tomorrow.

Him: I don't know, I'm more of a pants kind of guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/domsquad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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I was at the zoo this summer with my sister and brother-in-law, and we started discussing what type of dog they wanted to get for their daughter.

Sister: "I'm really thinking of a shih tzu."

Brother-in-law: "I don't know, I think it's a pretty good zoo."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jawshoowa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2014
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Brother-in-law (a soon-to-be dad) watching Dexter

Notices that in Season 6 rapper Mos Def is listed as just Mos in the credits. Promptly says "I guess he got his hearing back!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sallyjoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2014
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Brother In Laws leg fell asleep

Dad: oh no, now it will be up all night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitchellsnyder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
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My little brother in law will make a great dad one day.

We had just left a restaurant and he had been holding this in the whole time Him: "sp3cimen you must be a lumberjack" Me: "Why's that?" Him: "Because you always smell like Axe! Ba dum tishhh" I've never been more proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sp3cimen
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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Spicy thanksgiving dadjoke....and a bonus brother-in-law addition!

Honey, can you give me some sage advice on cutting the turkey? B-I-L addition: We'll give you some tyme.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ja647
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
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