My little brother's pun brought me to tears
I told my brother ten jokes to make him laugh...
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.
He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
My brother always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.
I guess we are raised differently.
Did you know Aaron Burr had a brother who was always falling over?
My half brother is 6ft 3inches...
Just imagine if he was a full brother.
Twin brothers just had a birthday
One turned twenty. The other turned twenty too.
(Trust me it works when you say it out loud)
My dad asked me to hand out invitations for my brothers surprise birthday party...
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
My brother was addicted to the Hokey Pokey...
But luckily he turned himself around.
What did Poseidon say to his brother?
I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.
I asked my brother how his date went. He said he found out she was an anesthesiologist.
Talk about a snooze fest.
My brother lost his left arm and left leg in a terrible auto accident.
If my brother gets his legs amputated...
Does that make him my half brother?
Just read an interesting fact - Bruce Lee had a vegan brother;
If Mario’s brother died, would he contact him through a Luigi board?
I just got a ps5 for my little brother.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
I read a story about twin brothers born with a single body and shared organs.
Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.
Talking with my brother: “Hey remember when we would see how far we could jump off the staircase?”
“That just sounds like leaping off ledges with extra steps”
My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.
I told my kids, "Did you know Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts and his name was…"
My 8 year old brother made this one: How does the fish cross the road?
My brother told me this one ;-;
My great uncle died the other night. He lost too much blood and the doctors couldn't find a donor because they didn't know his blood type. However, the whole time, my great uncle was cheering them on saying, "Be Positive!"
Last year I recorded a video with my brother
My brother who works in a tannery has gone missing. We haven't seen hair nor hide of him.
I never wanted to believe that my brother was stealing from his job as a road worker
but when I got home, all the signs were there
What is the name of Satan's long lost brother?
My brother dug a hole in the ground, filled it with water then designed a moving staircase that was powered by it.
That well escalated quickly!
What's was José's brother called?
Found out martial arts expert Bruce Lee had a vegan brother
My brother wants to try skydiving so I warned him that...
It has so many downfalls.
My brother just had twins so I invited him to join the group.
Parents:Your brother wanna major in chemistry. Me: BrO
My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
A real conversation between my brother and his wife + me
Brother: Babe, we need to eat all the pears, they’re going to go bad soon.
SIL: but I don’t like pears, you can eat the rest of them...
Brother: I don’t think I can eat the rest of them by myself though...
Me, from another part of the room: well you better pre-pear yourself!
*ugly laughs from the couch
I finally hooked up with the girl who said, “You’re like a brother to me”.
I said, “Well, if you incest”.
My brother, who’s a cowboy, always sits on the stove when he visits us.
He says that it makes him feel more at home... on the range.
Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.
My footless brother stepped all over a freshly hatched anthill
Guess you could say he's lack-toes in toddler ants
My brother hated going to jail
He refused to eat or drink anything, spat on everyone and covered the walls with his own feces...
We never played monopoly again.
I was named after my older brother.
And before my younger brother.
A penguin walks in to a pub and said have you seen my brother?
The barman said, what does he look like?
My brother prefers to take the stairs but I prefer the escalator.
I guess we were raised differently.
my brother in law was addicted to the hokey pokey. it took him a while but eventually he...
Just read an interesting fact - Bruce Lee had a vegan brother.
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