My pal is spreading rumours that I'm schizophrenic.

Well, 3 can play that game.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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My pal and I went to dissect insects in biology class. He looks down and says

Dude, your fly is open

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anonimi_il
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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My pal used to think he was a chocolate orange....

So in the end, we had to have him sectioned.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I can drink all my friends under the table, said my pal.

So nobody sees that you are drinking them? I asked

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Why couldn't the drunk guy call his pals over to his home?

Because he had no balance.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolmanc123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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I always know when my pals are going to be ill...

β€˜Cos I’m a forensic expert

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Hey pal, why won’t you cover your face while you’re in public?

I masking for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tietjen1209
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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My pal William is a hard worker.

In the winter, he plays pool for money. In the summer, Bill yards...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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I started a graveyard for only my pals who are cremated...

If you wanna come there, you gotta urn my friendship.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Hosted a gender reveal for my pal, it was a cookout after a couple hours they asked when are you going to tell us the gender?

What do you mean? It’s a grill.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WisemenGaming
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Autocorrect was my pal on this one

My girlfriend was texting me from a different city and said "The weather app said it would be cold today yet it's ducking 73 out here and I'm wearing a sweater."

I hit her with the "Geese babe, that seriously isn't pheasant at all..."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ouipareils
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2015
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Was talking to a friend and monks who are pen pals came up. So i had to draw it :)
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CluKInCok
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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Bouncer: "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." Man: "This is my Seeing-Eye dog." Bouncer: "A Chihuahua?"

Man: "A Chihuahua? They gave me a freaking Chihuahua?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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I happened to see one of my pals dressed as a priest

Apparently its his altar ego

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iTubbs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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My friend, Pal, is perfectly symmetrical and lives in Rome.

I call him Palindrome.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Jokster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
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My pen pal in Jordan has a job at a horror house. He dresses up as a large beetle and chases people.

He’s a scarab.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToroZuzuX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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At a pal's house on a hot day

'Would it be cool if I turned on this fan?'

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 29 2015
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