If your palm itches, you're going to get something.
If your crotch itches, you've already got it.
Just a moment ago, my hands began to convulse, my fingernails turned into sharp talons, my palms became thick, hairy, and tough. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and the feeling went away
I just had two paws for a moment
Does anyone have a palm leaf I can borrow?
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in palm trees?
My dad just got a tattoo of a Thermos on his palm...
Now whenever someone tries to shake his hand he says "Don't you dare touch my thermos tat!"
What did the man get when he ran into a palm tree?
Why don’t palm trees ever get lonely?
Because they have lots of fronds.
When I'm bored I like to sprinkle dried herbs into my palms
I have way too much thyme on my hands.
I bought a neon palm tree light and I want to name it.
I want a punny name for it that makes people cringe. As of right now it’s Arnold Palmer... please give me more suggestions 😂
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree.?
HOLD ONTO YOUR NUTS THIS IS NO ORDINARY BLOW JOB.
I planted a palm tree outside my house
Now I have something to give me a hand around the house.
After seeing a palm reader, I gave him my money.
He held the note up to the light and frowned. "This is fake," he said.
I said, "Now you know what it feels like."
Why did the baker have brown palms?
Because he kneaded a poop!
My friend drew a small clock on my palms
Looks like I got a little time on my hands
Got a new palm tree tattoo guys 🌴
Palm oil is quite a handy thing to have around the house
Palm readers are great at focusing on the matter at hand.
I guess the Palm Beach Post was angling for a great headline!!!
my dad: look! a palm tree!
The first sign of madness is hair on the palms of your hand
The second sign of madness is looking for them.
"Think before you jump," I said, my palms sweating. "It might not be the right decision..."
"You take bouncy castles far too seriously," my son replied.
How do you know a palm tree is lonely?
Why did mr Palm become president?
Because everyone was root-ing for him.
I tried the world's most expensive coffee, Kopi Luwak, made with part-digested coffee cherries eaten and defecated by the Asian palm civet
Now every other type of coffee is un-civet-lysed
Palm Sunday Pun?
I need a good Palm Sunday Pun, any punners want to take the bait?
What do you call it when a palm tree fakes it's death?
Today, the kids were making some Christmas crafts. My dad presses one of those plastic googly eyes into my palm, leans in close and says..
".. I'm keeping my eye on you."
I freaking love that guy.
My father-in-law just got me with this one....face palm.
How do you get down off an elephant? You don't....you get down from a duck.
This palm tree on the subway was really creepy and inapproriate
It keep trying to frondle everyone
My sister made me face palm so bad
She and my dad just happened to burp at the same time. One of them was loud, and dad quickly said that the loud one was her's but she just said it was Bono's.
Dad and I look at her quizzically, so she says "because it was U2"
So I got drunk last night and my friend drew a clock on my palms
Looks like I have some time on my hands
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.