What does Thomas the Tank Engine say when it bites it's fingernails?

Chew chew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dacaldha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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A man should always carry a knife. It can cut your food, open beer bottles, be a screwdriver, or even be used as a toothpick. It works great for cleaning your fingernails, and it's quite useful in an emergency situation

like when you have to change someone's mind.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyCrossXD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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I finally cut my fingernails.

They were out of hand.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/jayneonthecobb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Why did the nun bite her fingernails?

It was a habit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d4hm3r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
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πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fimoreth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2012
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I'm going to start keeping a track of my fingernail growth

I'm calling it my nail file

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/pacific_rim_job
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2016
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My dad asked me to get him some fingernail clippers, and after he was done using them...

Dad: Hey, put these back where you found them.

Me: Okay, toss 'em

Dad: tosses the clippers to the right, into the fireplace

Me: W-What the heck, Dad?!

Dad: You didn't say to toss them to you

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/funbrand
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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I know all there is to know about plumbing...

Crap runs downhill, paycheck comes on Friday, and don’t bite your fingernails.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/mttbr9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Had to Buy Some Nail Clippers

I went to the convenience store on my college campus because I needed to get some nail clippers. A girl I knew walked in and this exchange was had after we had started talking:

Me: The only good clippers they had were in this pack with this other body care stuff, do you want any of it?

Girl: Sure, but those are toenail clippers. There are some fingernail clippers over there (very small ones).

Me: I have very thick nails, so those won't cut it.

The look she gave me told me how close she was to groaning.

Edit: Spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntblt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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Answering the whine: "I'm Cold!"

A: (getting out of the tub) "I'm cold!"

I proceed to call him "Cold" as a proper name for the next five minutes while he gets dried off and I clip his fingernails. ("Give me your hand, Cold." "What's so funny, Cold?")

Me: "Okay, Cold, go get on your pajamas."

A: (laughing) "STOP CALLING ME 'COLD.'"

Me: "You know... if you get your pajamas on... and warm up..."

A: "Then I won't be 'Cold' any more."

Me: "Yep."

(Pajamas on)

Me: "A! Where have you been?? I haven't seen you for a while. I thought 'Cold' was going to be here all night!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redbeard25
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2015
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