The bartender gives the man a funny look then the man says: "What? I have the right to bear arms".
Those donught shops been ripping me off for years
I’m gonna be Santa Claws
Like, c'mon, get a grip
One on each of the two positive and two negative ends:
Jed. Jethro. Granny. Ellie Mae.
"she's just practicing catupuncture!"
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and... keep reading on reddit ➡
It clawed itself out
By the sandy claws tracks..... my dad just told my brothers and I that one now. Not sure if it’s been posted already
...he even has the claws.
They both have Sandy Claws.
I am now the #1 chair maker of the company.
Though, looking back, it seemed unethical, considering the fact that tools exist
Dr. Sanity Claws
he just has issues with claws and effects.
People called him Santa Claws
The Texas Department of Transportation (TxDOT) found over 200 dead crows on U.S. Highway 281 this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.
A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).
The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorcycles, while only 2% were killed by cars.
TxDOT then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorcycle kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"!!!
They must be claw straw phobic.
The cow has the udder.
It’s amazing how they can hold that big skillet in their tiny little claws.
It's called Claw Patrol.
I managed to get a groan and an eye roll from the wife for that one
Was being very annoying with no claws behind it. So I said “WHAT WAS THAT FUR”
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
His other crab people used to be away from him. Due to this sound.
Once he was captured by a predator and was bumped on a rock and got loose from the predators grip and ran away.
After the bump his ta-ta-ta-ta sound went away automatically.
Since that incident, he got friends and a new name- Santa Claus.
and then I thought, "well for you, it'd be a round of a-paws"
Claw and Order.
One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of its clause!
One has claws at the end of the paws... The other is a pause at the end of a clause.
One has claws at the end of its paws, one is a pause at the end of a clause
One has a pause at the end of its clause and one has claws at the end of its paws.
One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause
One has claws, at the end of its paws, The other has a pause... at the end of its clause!