Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus
1 2, 3?
Edit: read the numbers in Japanese
Because they’re dead.
It's a bit sour, though.
It was a par time job.
They knead it
I said, "Oh, how'd you get that?"
He was like, "I honestly don't remember, I came home and noticed it."
I put my hand on his forehead and said, "Do you have a fever?"
He said, "Nope, I feel fine."
And I said, "Good ............... it's not a cat scratch then."
He still gets mad about when I bring it up.
As he was walking it over to his car he said “be careful guys 🎶 I’ve got the whole world in my hands🎶”
Me: Can you make it kanga flavored? Wife: What?
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
Then I remembered, you have to whisk it to get the biscuit.
A book mark
It’s a little thing I like to call, Scabs on the carpet
It's still in the experi-lentlil phase
Too many of them have the itch...Modric, Mandzukic, Perisic...etc
He asked me where I got my scratch from.
The band aid
You can make literally anything from it.
So I came out of my room just as my dad was pulling biscuits out of the oven.
"Oh, cool. You made biscuits?"
Dad: "Yep. From scratch."
Knowing my dad isn't one to actually make biscuits from scratch, I decided to challenge him.
"You ACTUALLY made biscuits from scratch?"
Dad: "Well, I had to scratch the label off so I could open it."
Chuckle.
It was rad-ish
"Now when your mom asks if you've made your bed, you can always say yes."
