"You just mark my words"

I said to the English teacher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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If Mark has been accused of plagiarizing my content; Mark!? My words.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HowToFailAndWhy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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My daughter was practicing her flute today, she said at bar 45 she needs to add in a breath mark.

I teared up, after all these years she still doesn't know my name is David.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CamilleViolist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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He has a one track mind. Mark Twain is his father.

His name is.....

Choo choo Twain!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamSamG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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That’s gonna leave a mark...
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyledreeling10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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I confronted my friend Mark because he refuses to return my dictionary.

I said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary

I said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘︎ 358
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Oh hi Mark

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inviktusmaneo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Just a hare off the mark
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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My grandpa used to have a job keeping score at baseball games. Every time someone scored a run, he'd whack up a mark on a chalkboard.

Nowadays you'd call him a scorekeeper, but back then he was a tally whacker.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditwhilestoned
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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My son Tiberius just came up to me and said "can I have a book Mark?"

....and I burst into tears 🀣. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Memphis.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/socdist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Where did the question mark go

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I know a lady who means well, but is very annoying telling people how to mark their trails...

She’s a caring cairn Karen.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlatinumCalf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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Lisa will forever be remembered after she divorced Mark

She has left a Mark.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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I was really mad at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary.

I said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Today my son asked "can I have a book mark" and I burst in tears

19 years old and he still does not know my name is Luke

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicgamerluke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Oh hi mark
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youlikejazz22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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Today my daughter asked "Can I have a book mark?"

I couldn't help but cry... She is 14 and still doesn't know my name is John.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Mark Zuckerburg failed his Turing Test today.

He doesn't know how to feel about it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuzzOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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"Mark my wordsβ€”" said the pen...

... but the scissors cut him off.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Where do pirates put the French accent mark cedilla?

Under the sea.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dz_moneyman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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What did the exclamation point say to the question mark?

Nice curves!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hannookie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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If Mark Wahlberg married into the old French aristocracy...

He’d be Marquis Mark.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Today my son typed "Can I have a book mark?"

I burst into tears. "Billy, please stop reposting the same joke for karma, everyone will hate you."

"Then give me the damn bookmark."

I gave him the bookmark.

He finally won.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperJewsauce
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Today my son asked β€œCan I have a book mark?” And I burst into tears. 15 years and he still doesn’t know my names Brian.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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I was the top student in my class until my teacher gave me very low marks.

She degraded me.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaroZoroark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Did you hear about the apocalyptic punctuation mark?

It’s a catostrophe.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiseasedCupcake
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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My college friend got accepted to a social group by having to float out in the bay to mark a channel for their boats....

He was a frat buoy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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What did the author say to his friend Mark who plagiarized him?

"Mark my words"

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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My neighbour said he'd look after my dog if I accepted the fact that he's currently dating a punctuation mark.

He's a comma dating.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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I just learned that now we have to social-distance at the beach and mark a 6-foot perimeter!

Well, I'm drawing a line in the sand.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TMCBarnes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Working titles for Mark Twain's biography

Somebody please write Mark Twain's biography and please title it either "Making a Mark" or "Unraveling Twain" I don't care which.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeVoro_1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Today, my sons asked if he could have a book mark.

I burst into tears. After 10 years he still does’t know my name is Brian.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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I was really angry when I found out that my buddy Mark stole my dictionary.

I confronted him and said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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Marksmen marked mark.
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterWilson_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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We were at the library when my mate asked "Hey, could I borrow your book mark?"

I got mad and walked out. After 3 years of being college flatmates, he doesn't even know my name is Tom.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeepenTeepen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?"

and I burst into tears. 13 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brandon.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brammiesaus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears...

11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/csgo_Kriptonas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
πŸ‘︎ 43k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebkbk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Today my son asked "can i have a book mark?" I burst into tears.

He is 11 years old and still doesn't know my name is Brian

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whymustudodat
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Today, my son asked "Can i have a book mark?" And i burst into tears

11 years old and he still doesnt know my name is Brian

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RussiaIsMyCity
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
πŸ‘︎ 277
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears

11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?"
  1. and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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