Tag Puns

I just think it’s catchy.

So they knew which witch was which.

It’s a fun little game we like to play

It was a freebie.

Ima cashew.

>!you're it!<

May tag. You are it.

Am a dad but never had an original thought before this so here's my first submission.

ICU

I guess you could say that’s their catchphrase.

I really should collar.

So my mother is discussing the dog, saying we should get a new tag for her collar and she says, "let's make sure we get a cell phone and not just the home phone on it"

And dad walks in and says, "won't that be pretty heavy?"

If I'm honest, the situation was pretty touch-and-go.

At dinner today my son says “my noses keeps running” I say, “running from what?”... no one laughs but my daughter says “hash tag dad joke” and everyone laughs.

It was touch and go for a second

The name tag read:

Store Name

Sabrina

In training

I said "You've been Sabrina your whole life. You shouldn't need to be training for that."

At my 3 month review at work my bosses were mostly asking me how I liked the job, etc. Then I asked how they were finding me.
Boss 1: Oh you know, pretty easily.
Boss 2: Yeah, you're always at your desk.

We all had a good chuckle.

My dad leans over to to me and says "I think our checker is a little cheesy"

Friend: "I gotta get up early, so, I'm gonna take a shower, and, then, hit the hay."

Me: "Hopefully, it doesn't hit you back."

Friend: "If it does, I'll beat that bitch until it bales."

she said it's because it was always jammin’.

I looked in the fridge to start helping my mom bake pies for family dinner.

Me: "Dad, when did you start drinking alcoholic root beer?"

Dad: "It's not mine."

Mom: "He got that for you, because it's not your father's root beer."

Dad: "The Dad's root beer is mine though, so don't touch it."

"This guy who works with my dad always has a chip on his shoulder."

Me: "Why doesn't he just brush it off?"

Brother: "I wonder what flavor it is!"

I’m gonna cashew

Imma cashew!