Spermanent marker
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iwantmyteslanow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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Just happened. My kids are running around blowing a party noise marker. My wife's sister says " it sounds like an elephant in there"

I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."

My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.

EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trich101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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What did the confident whiteboard say to the dry erase marker?

I am remarkable!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/radioactivguy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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I've given up on reprimanding my floating safety markers

Buoys will be buoys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PityUpvote
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I got stabbed by a marker!

It was definitely a Sharpie!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourAnimateJonnyV
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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How do you call a sad marker?

A Cryola

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blitzer161
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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A man tells his friend he likes the markers that write thinner because they're easier to draw with

His friend says "you make a fine point."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gr33nphoenix
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I mustache you a question. Have you seen my blue marker?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeepinmama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didn’t draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously

.....and that’s when I drew the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh_j
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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My high school bully once drew a zero on my face with a magic marker

He really did a number on me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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While my kids were colouring with markers I fell asleep on the couch. The little buggers thought it would be funny to draw all over my face to make me look like "the devil". I woke up and went to the grocery store to do our weekly shopping & didn't realise what had happened until I got home.

Boy, was my face red!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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We should get dry erase markers.

They're re-markable.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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Why do dog make great navigation markers?

Because they are all good buoys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndreT_NY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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I cut myself with a marker the other day

It was a sharpie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iFlyHighh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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I was skiing on the ocean and ran into a navigational marker. Buoy did it hurt!
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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What'd you call a marker that smokes weed?

A highlighter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blep_bloop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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Playing the drum and my 2-year-old hands me markers to drum with...

It was a colorful tune.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peternemr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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Why did the marker form a new country?

Because he wanted inde-pen-dence.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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DOS markers

My daughter was playing with those washable Crayola Window markers you can write on the windows with and my dad comes downstairs and asks

β€œAre those an upgrade from Dos markers?”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gusthemouse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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My first job was on a ship, I was assigned to look for navigational markers. I was a Buoy Scout.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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I went to the craft store, and got a new neon-colored marker.

It was the highlight of my whole day, actually.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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I'm concerned about grave marker and tombstone sales

It just seems like a dying industry...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfqs6m
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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I used a magic marker to clean some pen marks off of the counters at work.

It looks remarkable.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DomHaynie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neotenous
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
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