A pun walked into a bar and ten people died on the spot.

Pun in, ten dead.

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saurabhn24
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach?

It ain't hard

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patdaddy007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the baseball player who can spot a fast food restaurant from miles away?

He leads the league in Arby eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Accidentally parked in a 'reserved for witches' spot.

When I got back there was a note on my windshield that said "you will be toad."

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prettiestvirgin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to visit my friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I found was in the C section.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you spot a cultured Redditor?

The number of their blue cheese grows.

...I'll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acres41
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Spot on!
πŸ‘︎ 469
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bafferlf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you spot a cultured Redditor?

They grow their own blue cheese.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acres41
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Whilst reversing the car into a parking spot, I leaned over to my wife and said...

β€œNow this takes me back”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fredwardofox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I think I found the β€œG spot” at work today..
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BabyBlue14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? We should call that "social pisstancing".

It's topical and stuff

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulphicles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m very proud of this dad joke my daughter just came up with on the spot

Her: What is this little USB thing? Is this a juul charger?

Me: No, I think it’s an adapter for the Steam controller.

Her: Well, a juul is kind of like a steam controller.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kimya_d
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a gallon of milk’s weak spot?

The jugular

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tgborst
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was visiting my pregnant friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I could find was in the C section.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Spot on!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunkz3n
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I spilled spot remover on my dog

Now he’s gone

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evanthekid16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you spot an italian birthday party?

Pizza cake

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JolleNi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you been to that new Indian restaurant The Ghee Spot?

It’s hard to find

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Acpyrus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I showed my friend my pond, including the best fishing spots and the place where the bank drops off...

I wish the First National would stop sending their packages to my pond's address...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
We were watching a documentary on African wildlife, and my son asked me, β€œIs it difficult to spot cheetahs?”

Me: No, I think they come that way.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...

" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s this coin wrapper that can roll any coin: pennies, nickels, dimes etc. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll.

My favorite wrapper is the fifty cent piece

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I went out onto the ocean to try and spot some whales

But the ink kept washing away.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no spots?

A Moo-tant

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimatePylon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you move a rabbit from one spot to another?

A hare transplant.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What's Bill Clinton's favorite hiding spot?

In the Bushs

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SgtHedgehog
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.

"This concludes my probaballistic report."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earthlybird
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The best spot.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the financial analyst who went skydiving but missed the landing spot by a mile?

He was an expert in the field

Edit: I made this up myself!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImNudeyRudey
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the disease that causes horns, spots, and hooves?

Scientists and doctors agree it's caused by a mootation

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyndacyndaquill
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do you say when you spot a flying Jedi in the sky ?

Look... Skywalker!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeretailer
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Puppy’s favourite spot.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackEyedBroad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot.

Pun in, ten dead

Edit: The police quickly arrived at the scene, surrounding the bar. The pun was trapped in the bar but it decided to hold on and have a shoot out with the police instead of surrendering. Sadly, the pun was shot. He was pun out dead at the scene.

Edit: Nobody attended the puns funeral, they all at ten ded.

-Mic drop-

Edit: Wasn’t that a killer pun?

Edit: Unfortunately I told about 10 puns before this one. Did any of them land? No. No pun in ten did.

(Credit To killsforsporks and TLo137 for the last 2 edits)

πŸ‘︎ 487
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fanthom12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you spot a blind man in a crowded nudist colony?

It isn’t hard...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an old lady in a tight spot?

Cram-ma

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carnival_k
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A little difficult to spot.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gradymegalania
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Just got a delayed grin from my son on the way back to our hunting spot.

Son: Wow that stream is really rush'en.

Me: oh good that is so much better than German.

I just had to pick a country real quick not trying to make any statement....

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheepery
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A sales associate spots an Asian man at a Mortal Kombat console.

She asks if the man wants to try it out.

The man replies, "No, I'm just Liu Kang."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Would you like a spot of tea luv?
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fawaffle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
People who pull forward into parking spots are living in the moment. Those who back up into the spot, are thinking about the future.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FatMetalJesus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How can a leopard change his spots?

By moving

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How can you spot a fake Van Gogh?

On the back, it'll be labeled "Ear-Regular."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
You can never find the best hiding spot
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_a_dum_bum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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