A pun walked into a bar and ten people died on the spot.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach?
Did you hear about the baseball player who can spot a fast food restaurant from miles away?
He leads the league in Arby eyes.
Accidentally parked in a 'reserved for witches' spot.
When I got back there was a note on my windshield that said "you will be toad."
I went to visit my friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I found was in the C section.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
How do you spot a cultured Redditor?
The number of their blue cheese grows.
...I'll see myself out.
Whilst reversing the car into a parking spot, I leaned over to my wife and said...
I think I found the “G spot” at work today..
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? We should call that "social pisstancing".
I’m very proud of this dad joke my daughter just came up with on the spot
Her: What is this little USB thing? Is this a juul charger?
Me: No, I think it’s an adapter for the Steam controller.
Her: Well, a juul is kind of like a steam controller.
What is a gallon of milk’s weak spot?
I spilled spot remover on my dog
How do you spot an italian birthday party?
Have you been to that new Indian restaurant The Ghee Spot?
I showed my friend my pond, including the best fishing spots and the place where the bank drops off...
I wish the First National would stop sending their packages to my pond's address...
We were watching a documentary on African wildlife, and my son asked me, “Is it difficult to spot cheetahs?”
Me: No, I think they come that way.
Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...
" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "
There’s this coin wrapper that can roll any coin: pennies, nickels, dimes etc. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll.
My favorite wrapper is the fifty cent piece
I went out onto the ocean to try and spot some whales
But the ink kept washing away.
What do you call a cow with no spots?
What do you call it when you move a rabbit from one spot to another?
What's Bill Clinton's favorite hiding spot?
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.
"This concludes my probaballistic report."
Did you hear about the financial analyst who went skydiving but missed the landing spot by a mile?
He was an expert in the field
Edit: I made this up myself!
Have you heard of the disease that causes horns, spots, and hooves?
Scientists and doctors agree it's caused by a mootation
Why do you say when you spot a flying Jedi in the sky ?
A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot.
Pun in, ten dead
Edit: The police quickly arrived at the scene, surrounding the bar. The pun was trapped in the bar but it decided to hold on and have a shoot out with the police instead of surrendering. Sadly, the pun was shot. He was pun out dead at the scene.
Edit: Nobody attended the puns funeral, they all at ten ded.
-Mic drop-
Edit: Wasn’t that a killer pun?
Edit: Unfortunately I told about 10 puns before this one. Did any of them land? No. No pun in ten did.
(Credit To killsforsporks and TLo137 for the last 2 edits)
How do you spot a blind man in a crowded nudist colony?
What do you call an old lady in a tight spot?
A little difficult to spot.
Just got a delayed grin from my son on the way back to our hunting spot.
Son: Wow that stream is really rush'en.
Me: oh good that is so much better than German.
I just had to pick a country real quick not trying to make any statement....
A sales associate spots an Asian man at a Mortal Kombat console.
She asks if the man wants to try it out.
The man replies, "No, I'm just Liu Kang."
Would you like a spot of tea luv?
People who pull forward into parking spots are living in the moment. Those who back up into the spot, are thinking about the future.
How can a leopard change his spots?
How can you spot a fake Van Gogh?
On the back, it'll be labeled "Ear-Regular."
You can never find the best hiding spot
How do you spot a cultured Redditor?
They grow their own blue cheese.
I was visiting my pregnant friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I could find was in the C section.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
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