What's a bird with spots?
What causes all the super-yachts to squeeze together in the same tourist spots?
A pun walked into a bar and ten people died on the spot.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach?
Did you hear about the baseball player who can spot a fast food restaurant from miles away?
He leads the league in Arby eyes.
Accidentally parked in a 'reserved for witches' spot.
When I got back there was a note on my windshield that said "you will be toad."
I went to visit my friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I found was in the C section.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
How do you spot a cultured Redditor?
The number of their blue cheese grows.
...I'll see myself out.
Whilst reversing the car into a parking spot, I leaned over to my wife and said...
I think I found the “G spot” at work today..
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? We should call that "social pisstancing".
I’m very proud of this dad joke my daughter just came up with on the spot
Her: What is this little USB thing? Is this a juul charger?
Me: No, I think it’s an adapter for the Steam controller.
Her: Well, a juul is kind of like a steam controller.
What is a gallon of milk’s weak spot?
How do you spot an italian birthday party?
I spilled spot remover on my dog
Have you been to that new Indian restaurant The Ghee Spot?
We were watching a documentary on African wildlife, and my son asked me, “Is it difficult to spot cheetahs?”
Me: No, I think they come that way.
I showed my friend my pond, including the best fishing spots and the place where the bank drops off...
I wish the First National would stop sending their packages to my pond's address...
There’s this coin wrapper that can roll any coin: pennies, nickels, dimes etc. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll.
My favorite wrapper is the fifty cent piece
Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...
" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "
I went out onto the ocean to try and spot some whales
But the ink kept washing away.
What's Bill Clinton's favorite hiding spot?
What do you call it when you move a rabbit from one spot to another?
What do you call a cow with no spots?
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.
"This concludes my probaballistic report."
Have you heard of the disease that causes horns, spots, and hooves?
Scientists and doctors agree it's caused by a mootation
Did you hear about the financial analyst who went skydiving but missed the landing spot by a mile?
He was an expert in the field
Edit: I made this up myself!
A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot.
Pun in, ten dead
Edit: The police quickly arrived at the scene, surrounding the bar. The pun was trapped in the bar but it decided to hold on and have a shoot out with the police instead of surrendering. Sadly, the pun was shot. He was pun out dead at the scene.
Edit: Nobody attended the puns funeral, they all at ten ded.
-Mic drop-
Edit: Wasn’t that a killer pun?
Edit: Unfortunately I told about 10 puns before this one. Did any of them land? No. No pun in ten did.
(Credit To killsforsporks and TLo137 for the last 2 edits)
Why do you say when you spot a flying Jedi in the sky ?
A little difficult to spot.
How do you spot a blind man in a crowded nudist colony?
What do you call an old lady in a tight spot?
Just got a delayed grin from my son on the way back to our hunting spot.
Son: Wow that stream is really rush'en.
Me: oh good that is so much better than German.
I just had to pick a country real quick not trying to make any statement....
A sales associate spots an Asian man at a Mortal Kombat console.
She asks if the man wants to try it out.
The man replies, "No, I'm just Liu Kang."
Would you like a spot of tea luv?
People who pull forward into parking spots are living in the moment. Those who back up into the spot, are thinking about the future.
You can never find the best hiding spot
How can a leopard change his spots?
How can you spot a fake Van Gogh?
On the back, it'll be labeled "Ear-Regular."
How do you spot a cultured Redditor?
They grow their own blue cheese.
I was visiting my pregnant friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I could find was in the C section.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
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