My wife was baking and asked me to try a "blob of ganache".

I said, isn't that a Middle Eastern dip?

She said "what?" with a confused look on her face.

I said, "you know....blabbaganash?"

A second later, loud groaning.

👍︎ 2
👤︎ u/armbone
📅︎ May 16 2019
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Know the difference, kids
👍︎ 7k
📅︎ Jan 16 2018
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Base? No, bass.
👍︎ 5
👤︎ u/anksil
📅︎ Dec 16 2017
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Came across some roadworks with Dad

Picture a road like this, covered in traffic cones and traffic slowed to a crawl.

Dad: An ice cream van crashed here this morning.

Me: Really?

Dad: Yeah, look at all the cones on the road.

*slaps steering wheel in delight

👍︎ 719
📅︎ Aug 27 2013
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An exchange between my wife and I 10 minutes ago

I'm sitting there feeding my baby yogurt when my wife comes over and leans over the baby to give him a kiss. The baby, at this point, reaches up with his yogurt covered hand and taps my wife, putting a nice blob of yogurt on her face.

Me: You just got Yoplayed.

Wife: You did not just say that.

Me: I know, it's bad. It's actually Oikos.

Wife: Whatever, it's all Greek to me.

👍︎ 5
📅︎ Oct 03 2014
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While watching TV with the wife...

A sinus medicine commercial comes on. A blob of snot keeps telling a guy "I'm gonna follow you to work, it's burrito day." The guy says, "no, I took Brand X sinus meds. You're staying home today."

I look at the wife and say, "the guy would probably have taken him if he wasn't so snotty about it."

👍︎ 3
👤︎ u/jimrob4
📅︎ Nov 12 2014
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