My daughter invented a writing instrument that never runs out of ink, never smudges and cures any other difficulties associated with writing...

It's a regular penacea!

👍︎ 10
📅︎ Nov 07 2020
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Girlfriend, trying to remove smudges from her glasses.

"Ugh my right eye is blurry"

"No, honey, I can see it just fine"

👍︎ 1k
📅︎ Jan 03 2016
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I got home from work and our parrot said, "Don't tell my husband", which I thought was rather suspicious.

So I walked upstairs to my wife, whose lipstick was smudged, her skirt a mess.

I said, "Honey, I never knew our parrot was gay."

👍︎ 9
👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Sep 02 2020
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Dirty glasses

I was talking to my Dad, and I pointed out that his glasses were incredibly dirty, with a big smudge on one of the lens.

So he takes them off, and exclaims that they are pretty dirty.

"Well, I've been giving people dirty looks all day..."

👍︎ 547
👤︎ u/carb0nxl
📅︎ Jul 01 2014
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