On a Sunday morning in church, a priest starts his sermon and says: "Dear Lord, without you we are but dust"...

Hearing this, a little girl leans over to her mother and loudly asks: "Mommy, what is butt dust?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themostunknownowl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Someone got tattooed on Cheeto dust to their fingers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blobbington888
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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A geology/geography/aerodynamics study that a sandstorm in Africa can blow sand and dust as far as to even Florida

So anyways, I dust the grains down from africa

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Another one bites the dust
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogGorForg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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This leaves all the other jokes in the dust

https://preview.redd.it/wh7u6jprq4g41.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=4ac68748b449df6ef811f9b2e157edb59ae5ac54

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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I'm considering selling my vacuum, it's just standing there, gathering dust.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paranoidlittlekid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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The cleaning crew stopped by my office to dust

I work in an office with 2 other guys and we all get along very well. Once every other week, a cleaning crew comes in to sweep, dust, mop etc.

One of the cleaning crew had a duster out and was dusting my coworkers desk. He told the lady to hit me with the duster as I was acting silly as usual. She said she couldn't as she would go to jail for battery. I said, "No. You would go to jail for assault with a dusty weapon."

The audible groans and chuckles were fuel to my dad humoured fire.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarFlipJudge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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Another one bites the dust
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lars2_1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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Why did the dust pan break up with the broom?

Because it was sweeping around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacobt380
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one dust particle say to another?

you’re looking rather fine today

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πŸ‘€︎ u/im-wit-dimwit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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God and dusts

are on everything

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karpukoly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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Did you hear about the dust bunny that fell in love with a roomba?

It was swept away

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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I Sold my Hoover the other day...... it was only collecting dust!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillJoyWolf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2015
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What do you call dust that only settles on certain objects??

Particular matter!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fc528e
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
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I decided to sell my vacuum...

It was only collecting dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kameemo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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I sold my vacuum today.

Why?

It was collecting dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seadal611
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Whether you use your vacuum cleaner daily or not at all...

It's always going to collect dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hanya_124
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
I meant to just give my keyboard a quick dusting... And then I lost control.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shanewd40
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Maybe a rolling stone gathers no moss...

.....but a moving ceiling fan, sure gathers a lot of dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I’m putting our vacuum cleaner up for sale

It’s just collecting dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crayonfingers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I sold my vacuum cleaner...

It was just gathering dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ash_bel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of selling my Roomba

It's just collecting dust...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ralmeida
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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Comedy Routine

So, I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner the other day. It was just gathering dust!

What kind of bagel can fly? A plane one!

I went to a graveyard the other day, it was really crowded. I figure people are dying to get in.

Didja hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize!

What do you call a pointless pachyderm? An Irrelepahnt!

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!

Ever hear about the restaurant on the moon? No atmosphere at all.

And to end it all: "I bet if I gave you some thyme you could mustard a response to this complete a-salt on language, but for now we're just beefing around!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WyvernLord123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
I'm going to sell my Hoover

It's just collecting dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
I sold my cleaning equipment.

It was just collecting dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdeptCrow3733
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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Did you know that Apollo 11 landed in the wrong place?

The shuttle was low on fuel, so Armstrong has to take manual control of it to find them a safer place to land, landing 4 miles away from where they intended to.

The scientists behind it were very Apollo-getic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpiderFlash-1273
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I fired my cleaner.

I'm glad that's done and dusted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/northernsou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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I can get you a great deal on cremation services....

But you have to urn it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravanik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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I found little pieces of food all over my bed and was dusting it off,

I honestly have no idea where it may have crumb from.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pete_the_rawdog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
🚨︎ report
I sold my old vacuum cleaner...

... it sucked. All it did was gather dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FirstHomosapien
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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I was dusting off my son's alarm radio and he said to me when he saw it...

You really cleaned my clock, Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bingomzan
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
🚨︎ report
It’s FINALLY October...

This means all the cobwebs and dust in my home just became Halloween decorations.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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I've decided to sell my roomba,

It was just collecting dust anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LittlePickleLoL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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My friend used to clean house for a famous singer-guitar player, til he died in 2016. She then became a police investigator...

She dusted for Prince now she's dusting for prints.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to sell my vacuum

It was just collecting dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexS101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...

Well, it was just collecting dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
I had to sell my vacuum cleaner

It was just gathering dust

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vamplestat666
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I sold my vaccum cleaner today .

All it was doing was collecting dust .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to sell my Hoover today.

It was just collecting dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arcadoodles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to sell my vacuum cleaner...

It was only gathering dust.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve decided to sell my vacuum cleaner this week...

It’s just collecting dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/audiomandan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
i recently sold my vacuum cleaner

all it was doing was gathering dust

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayraj77
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got rid of his vacuum cleaner?

It was just gathering dust.

Sorry. Won't do another vacuum joke. They suck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yorkshirenation
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report

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