Doctor to patient do you smoke?

Patient: yes.

Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?

Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter.

So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday the Custodian pulled me aside and asked me to smoke a joint with her after work!

I told her no, I don’t hang out with high maintenance women.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnrelentingLies
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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My favorite sound is the smoke detector...

β€˜cause that’s how I know supper is almost ready.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
I went to a smoke shop only to discover it’d been replaced by an apparel store.

Clothes, but no cigar.

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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What are you if you smoke marijuana and masturbate at the same time?

A weedwacker.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GenIISD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops.

He must be in some extreme mist group.

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I'd smoke a cigarette every time after sex...

Thanks to my wife I've stopped smoking.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamNotFonseca
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do ducks smoke?

Quack

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A sketchy looking guy rented six smoke machines from my shop, so I called the cops.

He must be part of some extreme mist group.

πŸ‘︎ 602
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle smokes and loves David Bowie:

We call him Ciggy Stardust.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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What happens when your local pastor smokes a blunt?

He becomes a high priest

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m going to pick up a pack of smokes

See you when you’re 30

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edisonsucksdc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What does Perry the Platypus smoke?

Doobie doobie doobah

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flygonneedsmega
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember when you could smoke in a bar ?

Now you can't even drink in one !

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What's your opinion on permitting coastal birds to smoke weed?

As I for one think that we should Seagullize Marijuana

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cnuttyforehead
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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What do you call a magician that smokes?

A wheezard.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglarinn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The female janitor in my building asked if I would smoke some weed with her.

I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Indigo_Samurott
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do French people smoke?

Oui'd.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WatchOutItsAdam
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who smokes?

A wheez-ard

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Secretseacrits549
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a lizard smoke?

Mariguana

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communismal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a family called where everyone smokes??

A joint family

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sinish_anand
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
We know the effects of second hand smoke are terrible.

Does anyone have peer reviewed studies on the effects of minute hand smoke?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Millenial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a water dropplet that smokes?

Vapor

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paullukco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't smoke, boys and girls
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Madserialkiller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Dr: do you smoke? Dad: yeah dr: cigarettes, Marijuana?

Mostly brisket and pork.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eastern-Medium
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is there a wolf in the smoke shop?

He's just looking for a pack.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Black Smoke Rising by
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DARKKN1GHT453
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The janitor lady just asked me to smoke some weed with her

I turned her down I don't like high maintenance women

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillRespectively1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend Ted asked me why my brother still smokes cigarettes. I told him that he was addicted.

Ted responds, β€œI know he’s a dick but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re bad for him”

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Control_Zee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If you smoke cigarettes,

you suck.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahemkeidb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that the guy who got second place in that smoke machine design contest forgot how his prototype worked?

When they asked him about it, he said he didn’t have the foggiest idea.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HuecoTanks
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
If you smoke seaweed

You need professional kelp

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to smoke Cig Newtons...

But now I just Joule.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loadedjackazz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t vampires like to smoke?

They always end up coffin

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dexmylove
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do french chicks smoke?

Qui'd

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcharlesboyle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Supreme leader smoke
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hugfry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do the French smoke to get high?

Oui'd

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrazyMatty91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My uncle smokes and loves David Bowie:

We call him Ciggy Stardust.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/argotrevor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store.

Clothes, but no cigar.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store.

Clothes, but no cigar.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do French people smoke?

Oui'd

πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Generic_Ratto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do French people smoke?

Oui'd

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/headintheskye
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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