When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
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📅︎ Nov 08 2019
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What happens when the smog clears from over Los Angeles?

UCLA.

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📅︎ Aug 10 2019
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I passed my smog test!

So did my truck. But I gotta say that technician was a little rough.

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📅︎ Oct 27 2018
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I'm at Midas right now getting my Jeep checked to pass smog

I text my step dad that the Jeep is currently in the air right now (they suspend it on a track so they can check the exhaust system) His response "Don't let it float away!"

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📅︎ Dec 05 2015
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See, I told you we don't have that much smog.

Cause you can see the stars! Both of them.

*Soon to be dad, just practicing my craft.

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📅︎ Aug 18 2014
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What is green and is a problem in big cities

Kermit the smog

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📅︎ Jan 21 2020
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No matter how much you push the envelope,

it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the ends.

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📅︎ Sep 08 2018
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Saw this one on the way to work this morning

"What happens when the fog lifts in Los Angeles?" "U.C.L.A"

Needless to say, it made my morning commute.

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📅︎ Jan 30 2015
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My grandma just sent a chain email full of these. I'll just copy and paste them.

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for the use of words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

Here goes...

.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

.. The batteries were given out free of charge.

.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

.. A will is a dead giveaway.

.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

.. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

.. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

.. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

.. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

.. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

.. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the cream of the twisted crop:

.. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

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📅︎ Feb 27 2015
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What happens when the smog lifts over Southern California?

U.C.L.A.

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👤︎ u/Roivas14
📅︎ Dec 28 2018
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What happens when the smog lifts from Los Angeles?

UCLA.

👍︎ 16
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📅︎ Mar 09 2019
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What happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?

UCLA.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/2donutkid2
📅︎ Feb 13 2019
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What happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?

UCLA

👍︎ 20
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📅︎ Jan 17 2018
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What happens when the smog clears in California?

UCLA!

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👤︎ u/AlKruseFTW
📅︎ Nov 17 2014
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