Just been offered as a job a Noise Pollution officer .

But, I had to turn it down.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Nov 04 2020
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Pollution has gotten so much better recently

that I can finally see John Cena

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👤︎ u/drewfussss
📅︎ Apr 12 2020
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You know, with all this talk about how cow farts are polluting the environment...

Ranchers really should start installing CATTLE-itic converters.

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📅︎ Oct 22 2019
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The EPA charges companies for illegal air pollution...

It's a mist-demeanor.

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📅︎ Nov 10 2018
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I watched a documentary on oil pollution today...

It was pretty slick.

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👤︎ u/pquads_4
📅︎ Oct 12 2017
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Due to Pollution and overfishing, many jellyfish go their whole lives

Without meeting a peanutbutterfish

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📅︎ Nov 28 2017
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Some unexpected consequences of coronavirus..

So it's been almost 3 weeks since a lockdown was triggered in the UK and there have been quite a few knock on effects.. Some good and some bad which I want to share in this post.

Firstly one of my friends lost his job. He worked as a psychic.. Never saw it coming. Its been a difficult couple of weeks and he is now considering a complete career change...considering becoming a baker of all things.. But I suppose he really kneads the dough. I suggested he focus on photography, but nothing ever developed.

Another of my friends was also made redundant. He managed to get a Skype interview for a position in Tescos within a few days. The interviewer asked him: "what is your biggest weakness?", he replied "I don't know when to quit". The interviewer said "OK, your hired". He said "I quit".

Work has been busy for me but since I can't enjoy the things I usually do I have been looking for some new things to do around the house. It's been nice have the thyme to do more cooking. I randomly started a boat building business in my garage.. Sails have gone through the roof.

In an unsettling reversal of my teenage years I am now shouting at my parents for leaving the house. I suggested they take up scrabble to keep them occupied.. Turned out to be a bad idea from the word go.

It's been great hearing about how world pollution levels have been failling. I read the story about fish now being visible in the canals in Venice.. I hope that story isnt a load of pollocks! Cod, these were eely bad. Will stop carping on now!

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📅︎ Apr 10 2020
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Fishy..

Trying to come up with a joke based on fish polluting the ocean by pooping in it. Haven't come up with anything but the punch line yet. Bass turds!

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👤︎ u/VolkRevel
📅︎ Feb 15 2019
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A classic joke my dad tells

My dad is a truck driver. This story gets everyone he's ever told it to: Dad: "So I'm driving through Detroit at about 3-4am to start my route. As you know, most of the inner city roads are crap, and are polluted with potholes. Suddenly I see an ambulance in my mirror going full speed with its lights on. I immediately pull off to the side of the road to let it pass. This is where it gets crazy... The ambulance drives through the intersection bouncing through potholes and as it does, the back door flies open and a cooler pops out, but the ambulance keeps going like nothing happened. Well I was the only one around at that time of the night so I immediately stopped to grab the cooler. I bring it into my cab and it has a hazmat sticker on it but the seal is broken. So I decided to open it up and see what was inside. It was a human toe!" Me: "Holy shit! What did you do!?" Dad: "I called the toe truck"

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👤︎ u/Rylon2008
📅︎ Oct 14 2015
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