For them, it was the last straw.
Ranchers really should start installing CATTLE-itic converters.
Great ENT surgeon though.
I was sure we’d be sitting ducks.
Ok masters of reddit, continue the pun.
Now that's E-fish-in-sea!
It's called Al Gore Rhythm. (Algorithm)
They both enjoy Al Gore rhythms
"Colour me intrigued."
The professor asked us what a pirate's favourite letter was. We all grudgingly answered "R..." in unison. "NAY," he replied. "It's the C!"
We'd be a really shitty hospital if we didn't have any patience.
They are now being raised in a stable environment.
I was volunteering today at a vegan grill event for an animal rights group. After only an hour we barely had any grilling to do as there weren't any guests.
Me: This doesn't feel like I'm at a workplace at all, it's actually quite chill. But then again, it's a low stakes environment.
Everyone else: Crickets and blank stares
I have never liked this croppy work environment, but this day's harvest is the final straw!
To celebrate the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, the scientific community joined together for a party. As is common at such gatherings, the Biologists began to argue about what species was the most suited to its environment. Finally after much heated debate, a group of scientists pledged to spend the rest of the year exhaustively researching the Biological record to once and for all determine which creature was the ultimate example of adaptivity and proficiency ever to live.
Yesterday, the results were announced at the National Academy of Sciences. The creature identified as the most adaptive and proficient in Earth's history was a previously unknown animal from the Mesozoic era, a water dwelling insect that thrived for a hundred million years.
It was ... a FishAnt
It was a hostel work environment
He would stop at nothing to avoid them.
He wants it to grow up in a stable environment.
"That's alright, I wore shinguards today."
"Just for kicks!"
All I got for my wit was a deadpan look and a slow head shake.
What kind of nut has hayfever?
What do you call a nut that you've annoyed?
What do you call a nut that's looking at you out of the corner of its eye?
What do you call a learning environment that teaches nuts?
So, in true dad spirit, I asked my daughter if she'd heard about the man raised by horses.
After I delivered the "difficult childhood, but a stable environment" punchline, she groaned and said, "I thought you were going to say he was your neigh-bour."
She learns fast.
Now I go bicycling wherever I go instead. Besides being good for the environment, it saves on gas and gets me a good workout every time.
It was a hostel work environment.
It’s a very cultured environment.
Friend: I just got an organic pillow.
Me: What makes that different than a regular pillow?
Friend: I don't know. I guess it's good for the environment.
Me: Yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Friend: ........ Ugghhh
A man gets a new job at the zoo.
On his first day, he still doesn't really understand what exactly he's meant to do, just that it involves the Gorillas. He goes and checks in and the manager sits him down to explain.
"Now look," says the manager, "We've been having some troubles lately with our gorilla. He was acting up, getting really agitated with the environment, so we had to send him away. We told the people that enclosure's being repaired, but we're actually looking for a new gorilla - can you do it for us?"
The man is unsure, but he needs the money, so he agrees, puts on a gorilla suit and goes out there. At first he's a bit mopey, so he sits around a lot.
After a couple of days he begins to warp up and eats a couple of bananas and wanders around a little.
Over the course of the next few weeks he becomes progressively more outgoing, moving around, playing in the jungle gym, hollering around and beating his chest. He's a big hit and everything's going really well for him, u... keep reading on reddit ➡
An older gentleman had an herb garden, one of the herbs that he had planted was thyme. The thyme took really well to the climate and environment of his lawn, and began to extend past his garden, into his lawn. Now, this was unacceptable as he prided himself on having a pristine lawn. He decides he needs to reign in the problem and heads to the nearby nursery to find a solution.
He gets there, but wants to make sure he finds the right product. After about 30 minutes, one of the customer service associates notices he's spent a lot of time looking around the herbicides and whatnot. Thinking the man has a weed problem, he offers the following assistance.
"Hey can I help you find a weed-killer? You've been on this asile awhile, and I can definitely speed up the process."
"No thanks," the man responds, "I've got some thyme to kill."
But I had to quit. the work environment was tearable.
They claim it's because of a hostel work environment.
I came home today to a dark house, quickly learned that the power had been out for hours. Walked into my roomate's bedroom, they're sitting on the bed.
Me: "So I hear you're feeling a little... powerless."
I swear on all things holy that at that very fucking moment the lights flickered on. We just sat there in disbelief for a moment. My puns are that god damned good. I must use the power well (stealth pun PSA: love the environment).
He was looking for a more stable environment
Its cheaper, and better for the environment, so its Eco-no-mic
She claimed they created a hostel work environment.
It said cancer likes to thrive in an acidic environment. The article rated popular bottled water brands to show their pH balance. Evian had the lowest acidity so it was considered the best to drink.
I turned to him and said, "Let me get this straight. The article is essentially saying, 'It's all about that base.'"
Eyes were rolled and soft chuckles were had. Although we're brothers, we agreed that was definitely something dad would say.
My friend had a really interesting job. One of those jobs you didn't know people could get.
tl;dr just read it, it's worth reading the whole description of the job
Before I moved, my neighbor's job was based in Antarctica. He worked with one of the research centers there, and his job was standing up penguins. I kid you not — when shipments arrived by air, like by helicopter or by airplane or whatever, the penguins would all look up with their tiny heads and look up so high they would fall over backwards. Now, penguins are super awkward in how they waddle everywhere, and so, not wanting to disturb the local environment, the research station had to have someone that could suit up and go out there and stand up penguins.
As soon as every shipment arrived, he would say, "Welp, better go suit up now," get into the whole penguin suit, and waddle out there all incognito and stand the penguins on their feet again. I'm sure they could have done it on their own, eventually, but the idea was... keep reading on reddit ➡
We use these red sliding sheets to help transfer patients from the operating table to their trolley (they're widely used in hospitals and care environments for various patient manual handling tasks). For those who are unfamiliar, it's basically a double layered, frictionless sheet you position under the patient in order (theoretically) to transfer them with minimal force and effort.
One particular colleague hates them, and today ranted:
"I would love to punch the guy who invented these and has probably made millions of pounds and retired"
To which someone immediately responded:
"I bet he's a right slippery character though".
So the joke goes "You know, James Madison was a naturalist. A lot of people don't know that. He really loved the environment and care a lot about wildlife. In fact, he tried to put protecting wildlife into the bill of rights, but a lot of people don't know that he was dyslexic too. So when he was writing the 2nd amendment he wrote the right to bear arms, but what he meant was the right to arm bears!"
Just went on a tour of revolutionary battlegrounds (truly amazing if you ever get the chance) and that joke was told in excess of 50 times, no exaggeration.
I am M2F trans with 2 kids. Although I am very fem, the dad jokes still sometimes slip. Tonight, I was speaking with a friend on Facebook and this classic came out while talking about my job hunt and seeking a position with Hanford and/or Bechtel (a nuclear facility)
"Hopefully I'll get at least an interview. I hear that it's a pretty toxic environment, but if you're in, it's a big nuclear family"