Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

πŸ‘︎ 185
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
Recent studies show Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.

Current events make it less attractive.

All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I just visited a corn field...

It was amazing!!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dosafan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the road and turned into a field!

An oldie but a goodie.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WellysBoot
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
I spent $2000 on a top-of-the-line DSLR camera to take a picture of a beautiful wheat field at sunset...

...turned out grainy.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
Every time I take pictures of wheat fields

...they always come out grainy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Recent evidence shows that Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.

Yes. It’s true. Current events have made it less attractive.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
My neighbour put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow in his field, and it is terrifying my kids.

They must be claw straw phobic.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
My wife left me on a Family Field trip

I should've made my wife turn right.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chair_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
Two cows in a field.

One says Moooooo, the other one says awww I wanted to say that. A sheep in the neighbouring field exclaims to his friend.. Did you see that? A talking cow!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ch3w84cc4
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
Why did the baseball catcher spend a night at the field?

He felt right at home.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mopi_is_short
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a farmer is stuck in his house and can’t get out to the fields?

Corn-tine

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Man11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Who was the Knight that was caught off guard in the battle field?

Sir Prise

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hey_peky
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
I think there are a thousand baseball fields in the US...

But that's just a ballpark number.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gothbear_66
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
Just casual exchange with coworker in the health field.
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/funkyunicorn12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Which field do furious farmers work in?

Angriculture

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Two cows in a field...

There are these two cows in a field gazing away when one cow says to the other cow, "Mooooooooo" The first cow looks at him and thinks a moment and says, "You know, I was thinking the very same thing."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Korleonis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Two cow's in a field, one cow goes 'Mooooooooooo'

The second cow looks at the first and says "you bastard, I was just gonna say that'.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitz_cuniculus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
My Brother brought this home the other day from his field day. . .
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thehissingglove_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
A cow got into the marijuana field...

Now the steaks are high.

πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AdoubleLtotheY
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard that Cattle Necromancy is a really competitive field.

Your rivals are always raising the steaks.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mduffor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Today I saw a bunch of horses running in circles so fast that they were destroying the field.

It was a torneighdo.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrettyLilPixels
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A farmer had 295 cows in the field

and after he rounded them up he had 300

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RAWR_XD42069
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A babooooom!

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
"I have 1760 yards of paddy fields"

He said with a wry smile.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to become a mortician, until someone told me it was a dying field.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/misc_fame
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field...

But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Smile
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?

Shear luck.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A farmer walks out to his field of cows

Looking around, he sees they all have dollar bills attached to them. In a fury, he rips the bills off them muttering β€œDamn cow tippers”.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SaucyLettuce
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Bathrooms at a New Zealand ski field...
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lozgunners
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I am very much into football that I can look at a player on the field from behind and still say his name.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/surqsm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them.

When he rounded them up, he had 200.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
This writer had a field day
πŸ‘︎ 211
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Silverslade1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Two windmills are in a field. One windmill asks the other windmill: "What kind of music do you like?"

The other windmill says: "I'm a big metal fan."

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PostreDeLaNoche
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm really proud of this work. Branching out into a new field here.
πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ericn8886
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A Force Field
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Smartt88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
An underperforming orchestra was playing in an open field when lightning struck its musical director. Luckily, he survived.

He was quite a bad conductor

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Punt or kick the field goal?
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/doghaircut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
An assassin was recently hired to kill a cow in a rice field with two porcelain figures

Police say it's the first reported case of nick-nack paddy wack.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djSanta1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Ten cows are standing in a field. Which is the closest to Iraq?

Cow eight.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dangerous_Calm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A farmer had 297 cows in his field.

But when he rounded them up he had 300

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stkelly52
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a mathematician plough his fields?

With a protractor

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snolles1773
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Two Cows in a field

One says to the other Cow "Nice day isnt it?"

The other Cow says "f**king hell a talking Cow"

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matc7884
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My son plays right field for a little-league team called the Angels

I asked him what it was like in a Disney movie. He didn't get it. So I told him he's literally one of the Angels in the Outfield!

Later I realized maybe I'd insulted him, calling his team a sort of mickey mouse club.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/voip_geek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A comic I drew of myself and my student before we go on a field trip to the bowling alley
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dungaroojones
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw a bull laying down in a field today and my dad popped off with

Would ya just look at the ground beef

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WisemenGaming
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Two windmills are in a field. One asks the other β€œwhat’s your favorite genre of music?”

The other replies β€œI’m a pretty big metal fan.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/david7494
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got my cow to cut all the tall grass in my field.

What a great lawn moo-er!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brawl_nOyOu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A farmer counted 387 cows in his field.

But when he rounded them up he had 400.

πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OraDr8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
At sunrise there were two robins overlooking a freshly plowed field

One says to the other β€œLets go eat our fill in seeds and worms.” They swoop down and do so.

Once all fat and happy they find a spot under a tree with the perfect amount of sun, and bask in the sunlight.

An alley cat rolls in and seeing the two birds. Thinking about how he hasn’t eaten in days, and sees two fat birds in front of him, he creeps up, and gobbles them in one fell swoop.

In the aftermath, he takes their spot in the sun, and as he’s laying down to nap he says β€œMan... I sure do love Baskin Robins.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tkl15
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field

But hay, it's in my jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Legendx_X
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Cattle Farmers respond to Federal Agents burning marijuana fields next door.

"In these troubled times, the steaks have never been higher."

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Krumm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who beat his friend with a stolen trinket in the rice fields?

Apparently, it was the first ever case of a knick-knack-paddy-whack.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Asian_dodo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A baboom!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kman3000
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A wind turbine is sitting in a field. Someone asks it, β€œWhat kind of music are you into?”

The turbine responds, β€œI’m a big metal fan.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShanePerson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
In a field there are 30 wolves and 28 chickens. How many didn’t?

10 wolves didn’t.

(Please tell me you guys got it)

πŸ‘︎ 658
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw this mule in the field the other day.

He was barely doing any of his work right! What a half-ass!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boomskiddy2006
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Two windmills are in a field.

One windmill says to the other, "What type of music do you like?"

The other windmill replies, "Well I'm a big metal fan"

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/verybadjuju
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
As a scarecrow people say that I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m not a dad, but I laughed in the 15 acre blueberry field that’s opened to the public.

Some little girl to my left - β€œDad!! Where are you?”

Dad- β€œOver here by this blueberry bush!”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.

Too many ears around.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear the joke that track and field kids always tell?

Yeah it’s kind of a running joke. The kids always throw it around. Everyone is quick to jump on an opportunity to tell it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zach_Bauer_24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
2 snowmen are standing in a field. One looks to the other and says; "you know, I smell carrots too!"
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reelfishy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy in a tux standing in the middle of a field during a lightning storm.

Turns out he was a conductor.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rurgtide
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a white woolly mass snoring on a field?

A sleep

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wavetune
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bunch of cows masturbating in a field?

Beef strokinoff

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfdng
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A cow stumbled into a pot field!

The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_AmazingAmanda_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A baBOOOOOOOOOM!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
There’s a rumor that a farm near our school sprayed their fields with chicken guts
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChessGreatest
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.

The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockstorm8232
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Chicago's Field Museum has launched a hotline where your child can text-message with a "dinosaur" that answers their questions.

Great, now parents have to worry about their kids getting ghosted by a velociraptor? "Hey Timmy, it's Ronny the Raptor. U up? Don't you hate it when you send an eggplant emoji to a Triceratops and they be like: who dis?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GeoffPlitt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
He's outstanding in the field.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSocialSwagger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Two windmills are standing in a field. Wanting to pass the time in conversation one turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?"

The second turns and says: "I am a big metal fan."

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Taco_Pie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A farmer in a field had 198 sheep

But when he rounded them up he had 200

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oisin790
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Two wind turbines in a field

One turns to the other and says "what kind of music are you into?"

The other one replies "I'm a big metal fan"

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call one crow in a field?

Attempted murder.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/balloonhat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Farmers have a hard time being the best because all of them are out standing in their fields
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDorkside
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the football field say to the universe?

Why the long space?

This jokes should be a follow up to "What did the horse say to the elephant? Why the long face?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crocosaw
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call three Spanish men illegally walking through a field?

Tres-passing

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SaucieBossy
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a weird white, sticky and tasty substance in my field where I grow vegetables...

It's the cream of the crop

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dennis584
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you ever been to a corn field in the middle of the night

And felt like you were being STALKED It can feel very EARY Sorry about this pun being too CORNY The joke must really SHUCK

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoTimedGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Two wind turbines are in a field. One asks the other, β€œWhat’s your favorite kind of music?”

The other says β€œWell I’m a huge metal fan!”

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MudBug45
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do UFOs love fields so much?

I guess they must be testing out their tractor beam!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back

πŸ‘︎ 582
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weiderman316
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yeahmaybe2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A babooooom!

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A babooooom!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A babooooom!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A babooooom!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A babooooom!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A babooooom!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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