I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
Because his sense of humor was too crude
They are outstanding in their field.
"I'm a huge metal fan"
I said “It’s pasture bedtime”.
and he counted 396 of them.
But once he rounded them all up, he had 400.
Then it hit me
The other responds: "Well, I'm a big metal fan".
The caption read ‘I’m outstanding in this field!’
"That's the goal at least."
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
One looks over at the other. sniff sniff, “Do you smell carrots?”
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
My kid said, "Why did you come and get me?"
Me: "Its pasture bed time."
The other says; I was just about to say that.
Hey guys, relatively new dad here. Pretty proud of myself because this came naturally. My 7 mo daughter, wife and I were hiking yesterday. My daughter was strapped to the front of me, and she started to stink. We found a field to lay her on her changing mat and change her diaper. She had a complete explosion so it required an outfit change. I looked up at my wife and said “looks like I’ll be performing a field dressing”. Corny af I know, but it made my wife laugh 😆!
is it pasture bedtime?
Does it mean it’s pasture bedtime?
So he could Rest in Peas.
"There's humungous fungus amongus!"
It was a knick-knack paddy whack
He broke the seed limit
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack
Thatcher in the rye.
Something about them is just earie.
Cow 1: are you worried about getting mad cow disease?
Cow 2: of course not... I’m not a cow!
Guy #2: That would explain why they look so grainy
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
It was an a-maize-ing experience
The steaks have never been higher.
Because it’s pasture age
.. But the Bull charges.
But it seemed like a Phishing attempt to me
Current events make it less attractive.
All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop
...they always come out grainy.
An oldie but a goodie.
She did a great job, because just like the real Wrigley these days, the only seats I could afford had blocked views.
...turned out grainy.
I said "It's pasture bedtime."
does that mean it's pasture bedtime?