"It’s pasture bedtime!”
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
The steaks have never been so high…
He wrangled them all back into the pasture. Later he found them all back in his hemp field. It was the pot calling the cattle back.
The other replies ‘mooo’
I’m on a streak...
I guess the kids are part of the moovement now.
A cowapult
The second replies ‘I’m a big metal fan’
Courtesy of my 10 year old!
Because they need a parent signature
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Edit: Thank you for the awards.
I was expecting this to go noticed like most of my other posts. You peeps rock!
It was the fall of the roamin' umpire.
Holy cow.
A lady came up to me and said 'Aren't you going to stop them?'
I said 'No. That's not my stile.'
.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.
(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).
It took ten tackles to catch him.
(not sure if this has been said before, but I just thought of it)
Yeah, apparently it was the first ever serf face to heir missile.
Gluten Tag
The steaks were high.
Can you smell carrots?
A babooooom!
Theoretical Fizz-ics.
Pasture bedtime
The T-rac-tor
and he counted 396 of them.
But once he rounded them all up, he had 400.
The caption read ‘I’m outstanding in this field!’
Hey guys, relatively new dad here. Pretty proud of myself because this came naturally. My 7 mo daughter, wife and I were hiking yesterday. My daughter was strapped to the front of me, and she started to stink. We found a field to lay her on her changing mat and change her diaper. She had a complete explosion so it required an outfit change. I looked up at my wife and said “looks like I’ll be performing a field dressing”. Corny af I know, but it made my wife laugh 😆!
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
Then it hit me
"That's the goal at least."
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
One looks over at the other. sniff sniff, “Do you smell carrots?”
My kid said, "Why did you come and get me?"
Me: "Its pasture bed time."
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack
It was a knick-knack paddy whack
Puzzled she asked, "What's that got to do with anything?
I chuckled, "Well that means....its pasture bedtime. "
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
"I'm a big metal fan"
I said "It's pasture bedtime."
The other replies ‘Well, I’m a big metal fan.’
Can you smell carrots?
I said “It’s pasture bedtime”.
"I'm a huge metal fan"
The other responds: "Well, I'm a big metal fan".
They are outstanding in their field.
A babooooom!
Does it mean it’s pasture bedtime?
is it pasture bedtime?
