Biology Puns

What do you get when you mix picture day with writing a biology essay?

photos-and-thesis

Hi guys, I need a pun involving bacteria and electricity for a school project, such as plug n plasmid, bactronics etc, it's for a modular biological circuit project

Jacques Custodian

Your grades need to be above C-level

They had no chemistry

They had no chemistry 🥺

but were created for educational porpoises.

‬ It was a cell fulfilling prophecy.‬

We laughed and we laughed then the bell rang and we all went to the cafeteria

I said "The elephant obviously!"

Dissection is the better part of valor.

Love,

Kermit

He told me, “If you fail at biology, you fail at life.”

It was called "how to focus" but I wasn't paying attention to the rest.

What do you call a closted bottom

A substrate

Its horrible ik

I said, “I think your fly is open.”

Lacks Cetacean..

I'm so gonna be Fehling the test

I guess she missed her period.

It's completely changed the way students look at life!

MY TOE SIS!

A cricket, and a tick.

He decides to start with the larger one, the cricket, and proceeds to put it under a microscope and carefully rip the dead insect apart writing down the results. Nothing unusual.

Moving on, he goes back to the delivery petri dish and notices the tick is missing.

He searches around for some time but the bugger is nowhere to be seen. Just before giving up he notices it crawling on his hand. Before the tick can bite him, he expertly grabs it and throws it under the microscope.

He turns it to the highest magnification and says to himself: "Let's see what makes you tick."

My Bio professor was teaching us how to press plants for our field journals. He kicked off the lecture with:

"Well, let's get down to the pressing business, shall we?"

Out of a room of twenty people, one person laughed. That person was me.

Now my life has no porpoise.

he sure was a fungi.

A Doctopuss.

Thanks.

It was below C level.

Not paying attention, I nearly dropped the skull. Without skipping a beat, I said "Whew, nearly lost my head for a second there!"

Teacher: How does Juliet maintain constant body temperature? Class: Ummm..... Teacher: Romeostatis

and i didn't know the anther!

"Midichlorians are the powerhouse of the Force"

I was telling my family that my friend's dad, James, had recently gotten a vasectomy. Without missing a beat my dad exclaimed "If he were a plant he'd be a Jim-no-sperm!" and laughed uproariously while the rest of the family just shook their heads.

How do you make a hormone?

You leave without paying

So while tutoring a Biology study group, (mind you, they are 18-20 year old guys and ladies I'm 24 and married) I was explaining a hard concept to the group, and a girl exclaimed: "Jesusdo, you're hard!" Because apparently I wasn't making too much sense...I responded with: "Thanks, but I prefer to receive that compliment from my wife though" That girl's face went redder than a tomato the same with everyone else's and much laughter was had. :)

Edit: autocorrect messed up my username.

My friend was disgusted about cutting up the plant to see its egg, so I told her to stop ovary-acting.

It was otterly embarrassing! I think he's made anemone.

Dad: "What would you call the plate without the ampicillin?"
Me: "The control"
Dad: "And what if it were really far away from the other plates?"
Me: "Um, I don't know"
Dad: "The remote control!"

Teacher: What did one daughter cell say to the other daughter cell when she stepped on her toe?

Class: Umm....

Teacher: That's my toe sis! (Mitosis)

http://imgur.com/ZNeesEp

Q: How do you determine the sex of a chromosome?

A: You pull down it's genes.

After having completed his internship on bowel diseases, he was talking about the primary function of the colon. When he was finished, I helpfully added that the colon has the added purpose of indicating that you were about to start a list. "For example, 'colon', item one, item two, item three..."

The groan/glare he gave me was quite a reward!

After several fruitless attempts at trying to get us to say "hormones," he cracks this one:

"What noise comes out of a brothel?

Whore-moans!"

Enzyme shitting myself.