A disgruntled Google Cloud employee asked me for advice on how he could get back at his boss. I told him...
"Don't forget to tip your server."
What do clouds wear under their shorts?
What does a cloud do when it gets an itch?
It finds the nearest skyscraper.
Did you hear the one about the cloud?
I don't like clouds...
They're always throwing shade.
I walked in on my wife yelling that she hated low lying clouds...
I hadn’t the foggiest idea what I mist.
Hey dad, I just uploaded all your photos to the cloud.
dad runs outside and looks up at the sky WHICH ONE?!
Ya know, I saw superhero on the street once, he was in line for a hotdog, read this guys mind and saw that his head was in the clouds, and he just pushed in front of him!
If you ask me, that was pretty telepathetic of him.
Why do clouds look like farts?
Because they're in the ass-mosphere
Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
It was feeling mis-thunder-stood
When Hurricane Dorian hits Florida, I'm going to check out my window for the clouds to get really grey. When they're at peak greyness I'll take a picture. That way Ill always have The Picture of Dorian Grey.
What did the cumulus cloud say to the rain cloud?
”You get a precipitation trophy!”
He's got his head in the clouds
I don't like jokes about clouds
They're always over my head
What’s the difference between a rain cloud and sound cloud?
One’s precipitation, the other is purp-sippin-nation
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Since vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don’t just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why there are so many vampires from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
The Cumulonimbus cloud was a favorite at the gentlemen's club
My wife was making fun of me for making puns then walked into a cloud of gnats
Instant Kargnatic retribution!
Funny part about it is this actually happened...
Son: "mom what are clouds made of?"
Mom: "data and Linux servers"
As seen on a post of a cauliflower that looked like a nuke cloud.
What does a cloud wear under its raincoat...
Does digital ocean evaporate to form the cloud
If you store data in the cloud and it rains, is that considered a data leak?
What did The Cloud say to his long lost friend The Tree?
When my twin boys were 2 or 3 I used to jump off of the picnic table in the back yard and pull a piece of cloud (marshmallow) off and hand it to them. I asked them about it several years later and they remember me actually jumping into the sky and that the marshmallow was actually a piece of cloud. It’s amazing how the mind works.
What do clouds wear under their pants?
In a horrible accident, astronauts were killed when they tried to make first contact with a sentient gas cloud by telling it bad puns.
It was no laughing matter.
Dad, what are clouds made up of ?
What video game character's head is always in the clouds?
Did you hear about the guy who hid in the clouds?
He was hiding in plane sight.
Do you know who the first person to download information from the cloud onto their tablet was?
I was trying to show my dad the advantages of storing his passwords in the cloud in order to never lost them and have access from anywhere when...
He looked at my with a smile in his face and say... "But what if it's sunny?"
Did you ever hear about the water in the atmosphere that tried to break the rules of condensation?
It wasn't a cloud.
Why was the District Attorney happy to see storm clouds?
Because every prosecutor loves arraigny day!
What shorts do clouds wear?
What's a storm cloud's favorite movie?
50 Shades Of Gray
(Sorry if this is a repost)
There was a guy in the clouds I couldn't see
I saw a cloud that looked like a pizza
I made a joke about clouds.
It went over everyone's head.
Vampires are killed by holy water right? So if that’s the case then why doesn’t someone just pray over the clouds so the rain kills them all? Now I realize why so many vampires were from Europe....
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
I tried to catch a cloud yesterday
But when I swung my net, I mist!
What do clouds do when they become rich?
They make it rain on them hoes
Why are clouds in different shapes and sizes?
Because they’re in de-skies
Why did the cow on the cloud not gamble?
Because the steaks are too high
Did you hear about the cloud who became king?
Why didn't anyone laugh at the poor cloud's joke?
A cloud fell from the sky and died
RIP cloud you will be mist
If sheep were clouds where would they storm off to when they're sad?
Is this what Cloud 9 looks like to dyslexic person?
I tried to catch clouds yesterday.
Mist. Guess i'll have to fog-et about it.
What do clouds wear under their clothes?
What kind of pants do clouds wear?
A funnel cloud came through town and they have video of a deer being flung through the air
It was a confirmed tornadoe
What does a plumber and the cloud both have in common?
Where is the first place Cloud Computing will take the Preakness trophy?
Back to his neigh-borhood!
What did the rain cloud say to the dry farm land?
What does a cloud do when it gets an itch?
It finds the nearest skyscraper
What do clouds where under their shorts?