A man walks out in the purring rain...

And he thinks to himself: "Why is it raining cats?"

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thebenmix11
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Why don't ghosts like rain?

It dampens their spirits.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cat that comes in from the rain?

A WAP

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkReeses
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call the day after 2 days of constant rain?

Monday.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
Why can’t it rain on Sunday

Cause then it would be rainday not Sunday.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zelyy_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
It could snow again tomorrow or just rain

It's still up in the air

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunflowerzz2012
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Irishman you can leave outside all night in the rain?

Paddy O'Furniture!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hey_Neat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call a friend who will even go for a walk with you in the rain to listen to your worries?

A rainbro

(Recommended soundtrack for this joke: Bob Marley: Sun is shining. You’ll see why)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rasmyn
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
Went out in rain this morning but got hit on the head with a car part.

It was raining Datsun Cogs.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EastlyGod1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
If the island of Maui gets too much more rain...

It'll become the Isn'tland of Maui.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bparx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the Red knows rain dear
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CV3C20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
What I don't like about rain is its attitude...

...always from above

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
A gambler visited rain forests every day and ended up getting penile cancer

I guess he was hitting the wrong sloths

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hadios10
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were woken up at 3am by loud banging on our door. I got up, opened the door and there was a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push. "Are you insane man?!!? It's 3 in the morning!!" I screamed, slamming the door and stormed back to bed...

"Who was that?" asked my wife.

"Just some drunk asking for a push." I grumbled.

"Did you help him?" she asked.

"No, I did NOT! It's 3am and it's pouring rain!"

"Well, you've a short memory." she said. "Don't you remember three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! Now get out there and help him!"

She had a point, and angrily, I got dressed and went out into the darkness, calling out, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes."

"Do you still need a push?"

"Yes please."

"Where are you?"

"Over here...on the swing."

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I tried to bless the rains down in Africa...

It was a Toto failure. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.

Now I have salmonella.

(I’m sorry, it’s a fishy joke)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eriknobeats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
The sky looked a bit foreboding this morning, so I asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?" Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley."

I must have left my phone in Airplane mode.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
What does a heavy rain cloud wear underneath?

Thunder-wear

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bunkabaab
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
What is a rain's favorite weapon?

Rain-bow

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TakasuoHD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Santa know when it’s going to rain?

Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My missus asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"

Siri said "Yes it will rain, and don't call me Shirley". I think she forgot to take her phone off Airplane mode.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the only country where it rains sheep?

Baaah-rain

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hadronwulf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Lazy Christmas morning, my wife is looking at the weather, says there will be periods of rain today.

I say, Damn! Do they make a pad for that? Without a pause, she says: Depends

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flylink63
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?

Everyone steps in poodles.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corpse1984
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I Rain every morning πŸƒβ€β™‚οΈ
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/According-Ad8779
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
One Night a Viking named Rudolph the Red told his wife, It’s going to Rain...she asked how he knew...

Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear

(Yes, I stole this from another sub:))

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJBlue18
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Chances of rain
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s1ddB
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
They're only called gargoyles if they collect and spout rain water.

They should be called... gargles.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allthecoffeesDP
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My son told me that when it rains it means God is crying.

I agreed with him and told him it was probably because of something he did.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skullchin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A group went camping by the seaside when it started to rain

For all in tents and porpoises, the rain didn’t bother them much.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thevectorvictor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reindeer soaking in the rain?

Raindeer

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatCatLady415
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I hear in Africa they tried an experiment where they blessed the rains

It was a Toto failure.

πŸ‘︎ 511
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said "It's going to rain". His wife asked "how do you know?"

"Because rudolph the red knows rain, dear"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TripHasard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?

Very put out, indeed!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?

I guess we'll just have to make dew.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aserthreto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I hope this rain keeps up.

That way it won't come down.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gitgudds3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t owls breed in the rain?

Because it’s too wet to woo.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I drew a rain-deer
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeeguycraig
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What should you do when you are unsure whether it will rain or not ?

Well, carry an Ummm..brella .

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yaduteemon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?

It just mist.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hollyamf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
After it rains in Candyland...

are there gummy worms all over the sidewalk?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicGuy66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Rain or snow
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when two rain drops fall in love?

They become rain-beaus.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Erbearlee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The summer rains have finally arrived...

Couldn’t have come monsoon enough!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PEZZZZZZZZZZZ
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my own grown barley

My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuke_k9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My son decided to eat dinner outside despite the pouring rain...

His appetite was whet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks out in the purring rain...

And he thinks to himself: "Why is it raining cats?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thebenmix11
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report

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