My wife and I were woken up at 3am by loud banging on our door. I got up, opened the door and there was a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push. "Are you insane man?!!? It's 3 in the morning!!" I screamed, slamming the door and stormed back to bed...

"Who was that?" asked my wife.

"Just some drunk asking for a push." I grumbled.

"Did you help him?" she asked.

"No, I did NOT! It's 3am and it's pouring rain!"

"Well, you've a short memory." she said. "Don't you remember three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! Now get out there and help him!"

She had a point, and angrily, I got dressed and went out into the darkness, calling out, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes."

"Do you still need a push?"

"Yes please."

"Where are you?"

"Over here...on the swing."

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I tried to bless the rains down in Africa...

It was a Toto failure. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reindeer soaking in the rain?

Raindeer

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatCatLady415
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t owls breed in the rain?

Because it’s too wet to woo.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Dogwalker took puppy out in the rain
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BenVera
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a baby owl in the rain?

A moist owlet!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend lives in another city. Last night she texted me saying "I wish you were here; the rains are beautiful".

I replied with "So...you want me to c'monsoon?"

She hasn't replied yet.

Guess she stormed out.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/srinivas-seshadri
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear standing out in the rain?

A drizzly bear.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J_S_M_K
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
If you store data in the cloud and it rains, is that considered a data leak?
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rencas79
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain

To keep each udder dry

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PB_Monk3y
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw my friend standing outside in the rain, smoking a joint.

I said, β€œThis is fine. As long as you don’t in hail.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife and I are walking in St. Petersburg and get into an argument whether the precipitation we feel is rain or snow. So we ask the communist officer Rudolph standing next to us.

"Office Rudolph," I ask. "Is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.

I turn to my wife. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘︎ 157
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/panic_monster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
🚨︎ report
We were walking in the pouring rain.

"Would you put the umbrella above our son?" asked my wife.

"It's close," I replied. "But I think I prefer our son."

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Snoop Dogg carrying an umbrella in the rain?

Fo drizzle!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vforvanessa1981
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I was driving my German girlfriend around in my older banger, the heavy rain clattering against my windshield. As the journey went on, I realised that she has this really weird obsession with snakes.

She kept telling me that I need vipers.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
On my way in to work this morning I saw a guy who was really upset about the weather. He was so mad that he threw some punches at the light rain. - RS

I don’t think any of his punches connected. You might say he mist.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKOouttaSomewhere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
After changing my diet to bland foods and spending a lot more time walking (in the rain I might add), I’m down 50 pounds.

That will be the last time I visit London.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kpely
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A lot of the girls i hook up with like kissing in the rain

But those are just my shower thots

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Det_Wun_Gai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Why can't owls get dates in the rain?

It's too wet to woo

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D12TTA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report
If Amaya from PJ Masks got caught in the rain...

She would turn into a moist Owlette.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jc0mm5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Driving down the highway in the rain..

and my sister complains that the windshield wipers aren't going fast enough for the weather. My dad replies: "They're already going 55mph, how much faster do you want them to go?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazikyle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Why can't owls mate in the rain?

Because it's too-wet-to-woo

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/babbaboey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Skiing in the rain sucks...

...It snow fun at all.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the spider avoid going out in the rain?

He had anoraknophobia

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
🚨︎ report
What kind of snakes do Germans love in the rain?

Vindshield Vipers.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/inexplorata
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2017
🚨︎ report
How do lingerie models stay dry in the rain?

They use their undewrellas.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geldonyetich
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
🚨︎ report
While on a road trip, we saw a stopped train in the rain

I asked my dad if coal can get wet

He replied "if water gets on it, yeah"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tsoukaholic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2016
🚨︎ report
The neighborhood had some new drains for rain water put in...

It was a grate idea.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1Man1Mission
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
🚨︎ report
driving in the rain with my boyfriend last night

it was raining pretty steadily and he was driving really slow. he apologized and said, "sorry. i'm just worried about deer. i don't have time for these rain deer games."

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/totodile-ac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2014
🚨︎ report
One of my friends in Colorado posted about the rain causing floods "of biblical proportion" and this picture was the first response.
πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ILikeLampz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
🚨︎ report
I hear in Africa they tried an experiment where they blessed the rains

It was a Toto failure.

πŸ‘︎ 511
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door, where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance!" says the husband. "It's three o'clock in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push." he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not! It's three in the morning and it's pouring out!"

"Well, you have a short memory." says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes." comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here, on the swing."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear trapped in the rain?

A drizzly bear

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrncfnd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear caught in the rain?

A drizzly bear

πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckley118
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear caught out in the rain?

A drizzly bear!

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sparks_ix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear in the rain?

A drizzly bear.

πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/perfect-toast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear stuck in the rain?

A DRIZZLY BEAR!!!!!

laughs myself to death

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hachikid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear that got caught in the rain?

A drizzly bear.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/overscore_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
🚨︎ report
Why don't owls date in the rain?

Because it's too wet to woo

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElliottP1707
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2013
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear caught in the rain?

A drizzly bear

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartica
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2014
🚨︎ report

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