Great weather puns aren’t a breeze
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado’s are blown up.
Teacher: “Johnny, can you spell weather?” Johnny: “W...E...V...V...A” ...
Teacher: “Well that is the worst spell of weather we’ve had in a while!”
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Bill, the weatherman: “Today’s weather forecast will be two beans in a tomato, meat sauce.”
Anchor: Bill, what on earth are you talking about?
Bill: It’ll be a little chili.
Which type of weather is best suited to a pandemic?
I bet the scale is feeling a little under the weather
I find with the weather heating up, whether I stay inside or go outside...
I’m getting Spring Fever.
This mug from BBC weather
Tragic news, a cargo ship carrying shoes from overseas ran into heavy weather and sank, only one man was rescued, he was found using shoes as a makeshift flotation device.
He was the sole survivor.
What’s the difference between weather and climate?
You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate!
Perfect for sweater weather
A friend of mine made a sweater out of alphabet soup and a needle.
I asked "how'd you manage that one?"
He said, "it was easy once I put together a string of letters"
I had a date with a weather girl
Jokes about the weather can be funny...
I’m curious as to how many puns can be fit into one comment before it no longer becomes funny.
Mom said I should dress in layers for the cold weather...
Now where am I going to find hens for this task?
What is Santa's favorite weather?
Snow, snow snow!
(Not sure if it's original, but my 4yo loved it)
What did the Progressive ad say about the winter weather?
I like the warm weather, it keeps me warm.
This was my warm-up joke.
A Russian couple is arguing about the weather.
One says it is raining, the other says it is simply a mist.
To settle their dispute, they stop and ask a guard outside the Kremlin for his opinion.
"Rudolph, please help us with this disagreement! Is it raining, or not?"
Rudolph replies, "It is raining."
"I knew we could depend on you, Comrade. You see," he says to his partner, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
I was feeling under the weather when I got my prostate exam. When the heavy set doctor stepped out..
I said... “Wow, that’s a meaty urologist!” 😎🤓
If you're feeling under the weather, spend a night in a smokehouse.
You'll be cured in no time.
I prefer cold weather, but only to a certain degree
Nice weather for a day trip
My wife mentioned that it looked nice enough out for a day trip. Naturally, I went to the other room, got my bass, and came back and started playing the main line from Day Tripper.
I don’t think I’m invited on the day trip anymore, but I still think it was a sound choice to bass my pun on her plans for the day.
What is it called when the weather tries to fit in?
You can't change the weather in the tree
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
Remember guys, the weather is hot outside so we shouldn’t be leaving our dogs in our cars
Feeling under the weather.
The weather girl was wrong and got me into an accident which broke all my limbs...
You know why I like warm weather? It keeps me warm.
Don't worry, that's just my warm-up joke.
As much as I'd like to claim this as mine, credit goes to a friend of mine for this one.
With all the cold weather we're having this March, I'm happy that ...
In really cold weather climates, it's always a good idea to have an extra set of gloves on hand
My local weather man, ladies and gentlemen
I love this warm weather coming around. Really puts a Spring in my step.
How’s the weather in South America?
Don’t trust big changes in the weather...
The Queen knighted the first weather event today.
What do you call a bottle of Dasani during bad weather?
Two people are having sex in Alabama and they begin to sweat. What is the weather report?
On my way in to work this morning I saw a guy who was really upset about the weather. He was so mad that he threw some punches at the light rain. - RS
I don’t think any of his punches connected. You might say he mist.
“How’s the weather looking, sarge?”
What do you do with a weather ladder?
Schools were closed today due to cold weather
It was literally too cool for school.
What did the weather man get get he broke all his arms and legs?
Have you heard of the new hipster weather forecasting device?
It lets you know when temperatures are dropping before anyone thinks it’s cool
If one makes a lot of mistakes when texting in cold weather, they need to get warm...
For it is an early sign of typo-thermia.
What do you call the Letter E when it’s under the weather?
Wednesday night's performance of Hamilton in Chicago was cancelled due to extreme weather.
Once again, Brrrrr killed Hamilton.
My boss asked me if my wife liked cold weather states.
I said I'm not sure Alaska.
This foggy weather has had an effect on my ability to remember the alphabet
I remember A,B,C,D, and F but I misty
I just won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy.
The fellow's logic was cloudy. He stormed from the room.
What vegetable grows best in cold weather?
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
The first day of fall was habanero weather.
It was just a little chili.
I had a debate with my dad about weather forecasting accuracy, but it was pretty disappointing
Hopefully next time his arguments are meatier or logically stronger.
I called the weather bureau and they said...
It is going to rain today...
weather you like it or not.
I read the weather forecast today and it said it was going to rain
Boy did i have a big storm coming
This is what I like to call “Phil Collins weather”
I was checking the weather with my girlfriend
Me: It looks like it's going to rain on Tuesday
Gf: Don't trust that too much, the weather is like never right
Me: Not if it's 90 degrees outside
I got a really good sigh out of that
What did the mom say to her kids when they asked "how's the weather and what should we do with our toys?"
British weather is a lot like Islam
It might be Sunni now but it will be Shiite later.
How’s the weather in Saudi Arabia?
What happens when a streaming site buys the weather channel?
Why did the weather go up a tree?
Because he wanted to climate.
Some schools are getting rid of in-climate weather days
Now there snow days off for winter
pennsylvania weather is so weird yesterday the high was 79
and today was when I cried in front of the waitress at Sonic
Santa's favorite weather
Dad: Looks like we're going to have Santa's favorite weather for Christmas this year.
Wife: Oh, is it going to snow?
Dad: No, rain dear.
Observed a weather-themed dad joke
Two guys were standing in front of me while waiting in line for the pharmacy. One begins making small talk about the weather:
"I hope the rain keeps up!"
"So it doesn't come down!"
Jacob wasn't able to raise the barn in time for the rainy weather.
Amished opportunity, if you ask me.
You know what they said in weather begotten 10th century Europe...
What's a nazi's favourite weather?
If you're sick of the weather...
...then you could say that you're under the weather of the weather which would be the same as saying that you're over the weather.
What do you call it when the crew of the starship enterprise enters a massive, destructive weather pattern?
I became a world renowned expert on cold weather.
And it only took 2 degrees to do it.
Romans created weather forecasts
My wife asked me what the weather forecast for Christmas was.
I told her, "It looks like reindeer."
The weather forecast in Mexico is
I prefer cold weather, but only to a certain degree