A list of puns related to "Cloud 9"
Could b
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡A high schooler wants to ask his best female friend to prom. Because they’ve been friends for so long, he really wants to make his “promposal” special. He talks to his friends, he talks to her friends, and spends days planning the perfect moment. Happily, she says yes!
Over the next couple of months, she sends him different styles and colors of ideas for her dress. He tells honestly that she’s always been beautiful to him, and privately to himself, he is now realizing he has strong feelings for her. He knows he needs to tell her.
The night of the prom, he’s extremely anxious. What if he says something stupid? What if she laughs at him or doesn’t return his feelings? What if she thinks he’s a terrible dancer? All of these thoughts are swirling around in his mind as both their parents fuss over them and make them pose for a million photos.
They get to the prom and he’s even more anxious. It’s dark, it’s loud, it’s crowded. They have to shout to be heard. But she grabs his hand, leads him to the dance floor, and they forget everything and everyone around them. A while later, as the songs have gotten slower, he can feel his heart pounding. He thinks it’s finally the right time. He leans down and whispers the truth in her ear, the truth about having loved her since they met in second grade. She starts to cry happy tears, saying she’s always loved him too, and they kiss. As the song ends and changes to something fast again, he asks her if she’d like to sit and have a drink. She says yes, could he please get her some punch?
He feels like he’s walking on clouds as he goes over to where the drinks and food are laid out. He wants to get back to her right away and hopes he doesn’t have to wait too long at the refreshments table.
He makes his way through the crowd, and is able to get their drinks and return to his waiting love within just a couple of minutes. Because, would you believe it?
There was no punch line.
He was the first to download data from the cloud to tablets.
On Cloud Nein
'Hey, hey, Hugh, Hugh, get off of McCloud"
Dammit autocorrect!
I said we need to invest in CLOUD based IT infrastructure!
She was trying to save them in the cloud
is that they always seem to have their head in the clouds.
He got information from the cloud and posted it to his tablet.
and he just stands there, surveying the assemblage as the room goes quiet. And suddenly he yells, "All you dirty bastards, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"
And the crowd rushing the exists raises a cloud of dust, obscuring vision. When it settled, the gunslinger notices one little wizened old man tucked in a corner beside the piano. The gunslinger walks over, his spurs making a small jingling sound. He stands in front of the still-seated old man. "WELL?," he demands.
The old man looks up earnestly into the gunslinger's face, "Sure was a lot of 'em, wasn't ther?".
What happens if you are in a plane above Los Angeles, and when you look out the window there are no clouds beneath you?U C L A
Me: Got to see a bit of the moon tonight before clouds came in.
Mom: Was it a new moon?
Dad: No? It's been the same moon for millions of years.
Thank you.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
“Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, ‘The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
“I’ll call you later!”- “Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
“My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”
“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’”
I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.
If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: “Wow, that’s coincidental.”
I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
“Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”
“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
“How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.
I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
... keep reading on reddit ➡The last song on Joni Mitchell's 1969 album "Clouds", is "Both Sides Now". If you listen to that album on vinyl, by the time she sings the lyrics "I've looked at clouds from both sides now", you too, will have looked at "Clouds" from both sides now.
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Download a document from the cloud using a tablet.
It's a small town so they know Police Officer Ed well enough to know that he can be pretty curt and rude. As they pass him, they exchange pleasantries. The husband tips his hat and Officer Ed does the same. The wife says, "Hello Officer Ed, it's a beautiful day isn't it?" Officer Ed looks at the sky, grunts, and says, "It looks like rain." The wife looks at the sky and says, "But there isn't a cloud in the sky." Officer Ed doubles down, "It's definitely going to rain."
The husband doesn't want to start any problems so he bids the officer good day, takes his wife's arm and leads her along. Once they were out of earshot, the husband said to his wife, "Listen, Rude Officer Ed knows rain, dear."
I was microwaving some leftovers that happened to contain mushrooms, and I forgot to cover them. Naturally, they coated the inside of the microwave. I described it as a nuclear explosion, and my brother responds with "did it make a mushroom cloud?"
I was proud
Edit: typo
What do you call a....
deer with no eyes? No idea
deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea
cow with no legs? Ground beef
donkey with three legs? A wonky
fish with no eyes? A fsh
fly with no wings? A walk
sheep with no legs? A cloud
What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese
What does cheese say when it looks in the mirror? Halloumi
What's the best cheese to...
hide a horse? Mask a pony (mascarpone)
get a bear out of a tree? Come on bear (camembert)
This is a question but I have a joke anyway, what shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
When my twin boys were 2 or 3 I used to jump off of the picnic table in the back yard and pull a piece of cloud (marshmallow) off and hand it to them. I asked them about it several years later and they remember me actually jumping into the sky and that the marshmallow was actually a piece of cloud. It’s amazing how the mind works.
But then I was told to get my head out of the clouds
It looks like most calculations will be done in the Cloud.
One of the dumbest animals out there.... Their heads are always in the clouds.
One of the most stubborn too.... Takes them forever to swallow their pride.
At the same time; the nicest! .....They'll stick their neck out for anyone.
Mick Jagger says "Hey you, get off of my cloud" but the Scotsman says "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe"
Cloud
RIP cloud you will be mist
One day Mario and Luigi were arguing with eachother after they came across a very unique ghost in their travels. See, this particular spirit had a permanent rain cloud above her head, leaving water wherever she went. Even more curiously, she permanently had her nose buried in a book!
Mario was adamant "No one's ever seen anything like this before. We should contact the librarians in Peaches Castle to document this."
But Luigi was infuriated and set out to prove his brother wrong. After many hours in the library, he threw a monsters compendium on the desk infront of his brother and exclaimed...
"Take a look.
Its in the book.
Its a reading Rain Boo."
We were working on getting him a new SSD for his work laptop and he dropped this little nugget: "If I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive, would that enable cloud computing?"
But you're so close to the cloud.
"Young lady, you need to pay attention. Get your head out of the cloud."
I'm not sure if it was intentional or not. I'm guessing not, given what I know about the Missus, it most likely wasn't.
There once was a Viking by the name of Rudolph the Red. One day, whilst tending to his fields, Rudolph spotted rain clouds on the horizon. He immediately dropped what he was doing and ran inside his hut to tell his wife.
"Honey, there are dark clouds on the horizon. The rains' will be here any minute" he said. She scoffed at him, "Rudolph you old fool. How could you possibly know that?" Angered by this, Rudolph turned to her and said...
"Rudolph the Red knows rain dear!"
It keeps my head out of the clouds.
A little context. We have 2 dogs... it's warm... they shed... ALOT. My wife picked up her flip flops and they were covered in dog fur. She shook them off and a cloud of fur wafted through the kitchen.
Wife: Ya know what doesn't shed?
Me: What?
Wife: Fish. Fish don't shed. But they don't cuddle either.
Me: You could get a cuttlefish!
Her eyes rolled so far into the back of her head she was looking down
Wife: Okay that one should go on reddit.
Because it's lonely up there! All it has for company is a bunch of clouds, and they always disappear in the end.
Moses was the first man to connect his tablets to the cloud
Did you ever hear about the water in the atmosphere that tried to break the rules of condensation?
It wasn't a cloud.
A cloud
Mick Jagger says, "Hey you get off of my cloud" and the Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe."
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.