Gravestone Puns

Not appreciating my puns when I was alive was a grave mistake

"Your death is written in stone"

my dad points and says "wow, looks like business is dead"

...we passed by a cemetery.

My wife says: "Look at all the gravestones! That cemetery is so crowded!"

Me: "Yeah, well people are just dying to get in there!"

I was focused on the road, but I could hear her eyes roll.

After my dad sees me looking in wonder at the flock of geese flying in a V shape overhead. I was 8...

Dad: "Do you know why one side of the V is longer than the other?"

Me: "No, why!?"

Dad: with a huge grin "Because there are more birds on that side!"

I still use this and I'm 20

A man is going for a walk one morning, and passes a cemetery. He sees a lady kneeling down by a gravestone. He calls out, "Morning!" to the lady.

The lady stands up and says, "Nope, just a gardner. Pulling Weeds."