*while my dad and I drive past a cemetery*
Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"
Me: "Oh, why?"
Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."
๐︎ 10k
๐
︎ Dec 19 2020
When driving past a cemetery:
โSee that cemetery kids? That must be a really nice one.โ
โWhy do you say that Dad?โ
โPeople are just dying to get in thereโ
๐︎ 34
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Dec 27 2020
I know this is an old one, but my dad got me with this when I was a kid and I just used it on my son (he loved it): Why do they put walls around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!
๐︎ 11
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Cemeteries must be popular.
Everyone is dying to get in there.
๐︎ 33
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I should have known the cemetery sale was a scam.
I mean, it was a dead giveaway.
๐︎ 99
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Did you know thereโs a law stating no one living within 5 miles of a cemetery can be buried there?
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Oct 29 2020
My father and were in the car and drove passed a cemetery.
Dad: How many dead people are in there?
Me: I have no idea
Dad: Hopefully all of them are.
Lame, I know, but this actually happened to me when I was 12
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Nov 26 2020
How many bodies are buried in Arlington National Cemetery?
๐︎ 8
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Why are cemeteries always so full?
high density cities have higher growth rates than can keep up with changing land use needs
๐︎ 4
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︎ Nov 02 2020
You should wear your mask whenever you go to a cemetery in this pandemic.
Cemeteries have a lot of coffin.
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Oct 20 2020
Whyโs there a fence around the cemetery?
Because people are dying to get in
๐︎ 41
๐
︎ Sep 28 2020
I just went to go visit my late grandmother buried in the cemetery, but when I went there I found her dancing!
It was quite the Plot Twist
๐︎ 9
๐
︎ Oct 07 2020
*Passing every cemetery as a child* Dad would exclaim....
"WOW, people are DYING to get into that place!"
๐︎ 11
๐
︎ Aug 18 2020
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you donโt.โ And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town canโt be buried here.โ I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz theyโre still alive!"
๐︎ 86
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︎ Jul 26 2020
So in my country there is an app that helps navigate through cemeteries
That will help to avert many grave mistakes
๐︎ 14
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︎ Aug 08 2020
I asked my daughter if she wanted to take a walk in the cemetery, but she wasn't interested.
I don't get it. I'd heard everyone's dying to go there.
๐︎ 11
๐
︎ Aug 17 2020
While taking a tour of a college campus, the tour guide mentioned that the school was surrounded by three different cemeteries.
Tour guide: And did you know that if you live across from a cemetery, you canโt be buried there?
Me: What?? Why not?
Tour guide: Because youโre still alive!
๐︎ 12
๐
︎ Jul 20 2020
The queues outside the cemetery are crazy.
People are dying to get in there.
๐︎ 10
๐
︎ Jun 14 2020
I love living next to a cemetery
๐︎ 9
๐
︎ Jun 21 2020
A cemetery is a terrible setting for a convincing horror story.
๐︎ 47
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︎ Apr 30 2020
Why do cemeteries have walls and fences around them?
Because people are dying to get in!
(My dad told me this one when we drove past a cemetery one day lol)
๐︎ 80
๐
︎ May 04 2020
Cemeteries remind me of the TV show Cheers.
It's a place where everyone knows your name.
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Jul 28 2020
I hate driving by the cemetery
๐︎ 10
๐
︎ May 31 2020
Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.
To be sure. Iโll let myself out.....
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ May 14 2020
Why are cemeteries so popular?
People are dying to get in.
(My dad actually told me this joke. This was my first time hearing it.)
๐︎ 8
๐
︎ May 10 2020
The groundskeeper for the cemetery...
in the end is buried by his work.
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Mar 25 2020
In car earlier with wife, daughter, parents. We drive by a cemetery. My dad says โyou guys know how many people are dead in there?โ
In unison dead pan my wife and mother: โall of themโ
๐︎ 2
๐
︎ May 19 2020
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.
Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.
He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
๐︎ 369
๐
︎ Oct 12 2019
Cemeteries are like exclusive nightclubs.
People are dying to get inside.
๐︎ 10
๐
︎ Apr 24 2020
My friend decided to do stand up comedy in a cemetery
๐︎ 21
๐
︎ Feb 13 2020
I saw this odd guy walking towards the cemetery with a shovel...
๐︎ 24
๐
︎ Jan 04 2020
Why are cemeteries always fenced off?
Because people are always dying to get in
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Mar 12 2020
I hear there's a new cemetery in town that's so nice, everyone is dying to get in.
๐︎ 25
๐
︎ Dec 09 2019
Me: "The cemetery looks quite empty."
My dad: "People must be dying to get in."
๐︎ 8
๐
︎ Dec 19 2020
I should have known the cemetery sale was a scam.
I mean, it was a dead giveaway.
๐︎ 6
๐
︎ Nov 08 2020
Why are there gates around the cemetery?
Because people are dying to get in.
๐︎ 61
๐
︎ Oct 07 2020
How many people are dead in the cemetery?
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Sep 20 2020
Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
Because people are dying to get in.
๐︎ 13
๐
︎ Sep 13 2020
You know why they put fences around cemeteries?
People are just dying to get in
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Sep 19 2020
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you donโt.โ And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town canโt be buried here.โ I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz theyโre still alive!"
๐︎ 9k
๐
︎ Jul 28 2019
Why are there walls around a cemetery?
Because people are dying to get in.
๐︎ 11
๐
︎ Mar 29 2020
Our townโs new cemetery is really popular
People are dying to get in
๐︎ 6
๐
︎ Apr 27 2020
Why did they build a wall around the cemetery?
Because people were dying to get in!
๐︎ 2
๐
︎ Jun 02 2020
We were driving past a cemetery.
My dad said in a dead serious quiet voice "I know something you don't know about this place. The people living in this town aren't allowed to be buried here."
And I was really confused, so I asked why.
He said "because they are still alive."
๐︎ 59
๐
︎ Nov 28 2019
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.
Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.
He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
๐︎ 252
๐
︎ May 16 2019
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