Cemetery Puns

I told him it was a dying business.

they blamed it on the cost of living.

Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"

Me: "Oh, why?"

Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."

Because they're all still alive!!

It's because they're still alive.

Seems people are just dyin to get into it.

Mostly because they’re not dead yet.

It was a dead giveaway.

“See that cemetery kids? That must be a really nice one.”

“Why do you say that Dad?”

“People are just dying to get in there”

I mean, it was a dead giveaway.

Because people are dying to get in!

Everyone is dying to get in there.

Because they’re living

Because people are dying to get in

high density cities have higher growth rates than can keep up with changing land use needs

Dad: How many dead people are in there?

Me: I have no idea

Dad: Hopefully all of them are.

Lame, I know, but this actually happened to me when I was 12

Cemeteries have a lot of coffin.

"WOW, people are DYING to get into that place!"

He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"

It was quite the Plot Twist

That will help to avert many grave mistakes

Tour guide: And did you know that if you live across from a cemetery, you can’t be buried there?

Me: What?? Why not?

Tour guide: Because you’re still alive!

I don't get it. I'd heard everyone's dying to go there.

Too many plot holes.

It's dead quiet.

People are dying to get in there.

Because people are dying to get in!

(My dad told me this one when we drove past a cemetery one day lol)

It's just always so dead

It's a place where everyone knows your name.

To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

in the end is buried by his work.

People are dying to get in.

(My dad actually told me this joke. This was my first time hearing it.)

It was a grave mistake

In unison dead pan my wife and mother: “all of them”

My dad: "People must be dying to get in."

I mean, it was a dead giveaway.

Because people are dying to get in.

He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"

All of them.

Because people are dying to get in.

Because people are dying to get in.

People are dying to get in

Because people were dying to get in!

My dad said in a dead serious quiet voice "I know something you don't know about this place. The people living in this town aren't allowed to be buried here."

And I was really confused, so I asked why.

He said "because they are still alive."

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."