You can only ran...cause it's past tents
Hopefully this post is allowed. 5 or so years ago, I decided to post puns that I either came up with or enjoyed a lot. My goal was to make it easy to find puns based on a topic or subject. So I heavily tagged all of the entries with relevant information. I've consistently uploaded new puns on at least a weekly basis, but usually every 3 days.
I've amassed a large collection that I've decided to open source. I've dumped my database into a JSON file that is open and free to use (with proper attribution).
Let me know what you think!
https://punatorium.com/opun
I have to make a slogan for safety week at a construction site I work at. Can you guys help?
I dug her dig's digs.
My first search for a mate brought no matches, but did give me plenty of prospects.
…to make hens meet.
He's calling it "Faithbook".
He'll install windows
I can't wait to meter.
I don't know, we just clicked.
"That would be nice" she said. "Plethora"..... "Thanks, that means a lot."
"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."
"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.
"1215," said the tour guide.
"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"
Turns out it was an isolated incident.
When I got home, all the signs were there
They said, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”
... but it’s paper view only.
It's called Studfinder.
Now that's what I call a loco-motive.
He said, I'll keep an eye out for it.
But I got Holy Ghosted.
We are strictly a Bing family.
I'll call it Oedipal Arrangements.
It was in tents.
The evidence wasn't concrete.
Dave sees the girl of his dreams and asks Joe, “I can’t believe my eyes, is this girl real?”
Joe pats his buddy Dave on the back, “Yea bud, she Isreal.”
Its a boring job
It looked like foul play. The mason wasn’t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldn’t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.
Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasn’t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didn’t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.
as I can no longer make hens meet!
Cos misery loves company!
(I'm so going to hell for this joke... Worth it.)
But when I got home, all the signs were there
Faithbook.
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
…to make hens meet.
since it is past tents...
They said, “If your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
They said, “If your tents get blown over, you won’t be covered.”
Its not my normal day job, I'm just doing it to make Hens meet.
You can only ran, cause it's past tents
You can only ran, because its past tents.
