When I got home, all the signs were there
It's called Studfinder.
He said, I'll keep an eye out for it.
…to make hens meet.
Now that's what I call a loco-motive.
They said, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”
But I got Holy Ghosted.
It was in tents.
... but it’s paper view only.
I'll call it Oedipal Arrangements.
Dave sees the girl of his dreams and asks Joe, “I can’t believe my eyes, is this girl real?”
Joe pats his buddy Dave on the back, “Yea bud, she Isreal.”
The evidence wasn't concrete.
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
We are strictly a Bing family.
Cos misery loves company!
(I'm so going to hell for this joke... Worth it.)
Its a boring job
He hops onto a barstool and asks the bartender for a club sandwich and a pint of Guinness , the bartender says "WOW! A talking duck" he is very surprised but gets him his sandwich and pint anyway
The next night the duck comes in and hops onto a barstool and asks the bartender for a club sandwich and a pint of Guinness, the bartender says "WOW! I wasn't dreaming about the talking duck, he came back again" and gets him his sandwich and pint
Once again the duck comes back again the next night and orders his club sandwich and pint of Guinness, the bartender is fairly normalised to the duck now and gets him his sandwich straight away
Over the next week the duck comes in everyday and gets his regular order of a pint of guiness and he and the bartender become good friends, one day the bartender saw an advert for a circus on his way to work. When the duck comes in and orders his club sandwich and pint of guiness the bartender tells him about how he would do great in the circus. The duck doesn't understand and asks the bartender "what would they want with me, I'm only a brick layer"
Does anyone know the Gettysburg address?
Because you’ll piss off the gods.
Its called Craft American Singles
as I can no longer make hens meet!
Faithbook.
.. was the roofer
It looked like foul play. The mason wasn’t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldn’t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.
Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasn’t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didn’t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.
What a way to get straight to the point! Three of them actually...
He was charged with criminal in-tent.
But when I got home, all the signs were there
Tick-talk
They went from "see" to "see"
I've been getting into cornography lately! Do y'all know of any good corn sites? I'm a big fan of hard core schucking, but I like the occasional slow stuff.
Guess he failed his degree in Civil Engineering.
because everyone's already Redd-it
Ho Chi Minhgle
Does that make those comments comedy gold?
My username is "ComeGetPslam"
But I'm still working on it.
A torrent!
It will be called wikileeks.com
past tents.
Petty Larceny.
I know, too soon.
This has happened a few times. So yesterday on a conference call my boss mentions that this tree thinks he's either a cat with 9 lives or Jesus christ. I start laughing hysterically because in my head all I can think of is treesus christ.
My second child will be born in 2 weeks. I'm ultimate dad now.
I only heard about it, I never reddit before.
Now he prefers to take his time.
Think I’ll call it Bone Appetit.
It's called "welp..."
And I asked her how she liked her job.
Her (paraphrased) reply: "I love it, what's great about working with numbers is that there's always a right answer."
Me: "I love it when everything adds up."
Dad: The guy who can speak Spanish didn't show up Me:If you cant speak Spanish speak Russian(some of the workers were Russian) Dad: Why would speaking faster make a difference?
I'm an architect and visited a house with my boss and the client today which is nearly finished. We were talking about the marble counter he got for his bathroom and how nice it is.
My boss - "Yes, client, we really think you're doing a marvelous job with this so far..."
Me - "Maybe even a marbleous job"
silence
I told him that's an awful lot of errors for a brand new site
Apparently, they all have a long history of profiling.
So the person's profile only talks about airplanes. I wanted to send a message totally jammed packed with airplane puns but I don't have that many. It's probably a fake profile but I still think it would be fun.
Here's what I have so far. Hey Girl. Most of the girls on this website are so 'plane' but you're the exception. I have a 'terminal' illness and hope to meet my copilot before I go. Just kidding. My health is 'A oK47'. I was just 'play'n' around. Just to let you know I have some baggage from some 'turbulence' in a previous relationship but Shirley I can get past it. My previous relationship taught me that two wrongs don't make a right. However, two Wrights made an airplane. I hope a new relationship can 'takeoff' with you though. I would be a great boyfriend. I have financial 'security' and could buy you anything you want with my 'visa'. Have you seen the movie, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"? It's really good, except for the train and automobile parts.
They said, “If your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”
You can only ran, cause it's past tents
Its not my normal day job, I'm just doing it to make Hens meet.
They said, “If your tents get blown over, you won’t be covered.”
You can only ran, because its past tents.
But when i got home... all the signs were there
You can only ran, because it's past tents
