My girlfriend and I broke up at summer camp. We got into an argument over which canoe to get take.

She got in one and I the other. Then we just drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the storms that hit the boy scouts at camp last night ?

They were in tents

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Olaffubbuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
At a nudist camp a couple were sitting discussing politics.

The lady asked "have you read Marx?"

"Yes" the man replied, "I think they're from the wicker chairs."

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
What is it called when someone rents a camp from the Boy Scouts for half a week?

A four de lease

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hfoste1380
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
I want to write a screenplay about a Hollywood director who camps out in the wilderness until the pandemic passes.

His name is Tentin’ Quarantino.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spsheridan
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
I remember the most humiliating time at camp...

I was wearing overalls and, in my sleep, had relieved myself...

It was an overall crappy experience.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Water4real
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
When I was on Naked and Afraid, I went out gathering food. I was able to find 2 small slugs to bring back to camp...

It was slimy pickings for dinner that evening.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
I went to get tornado insurance for my camp site, but the bank refused.

They said, β€œIf your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Inmates seem happiest when sleeping in canvas camp shelters...

They're con-tented at least.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
What did the extremists do at summer camp?

They had a blast.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
A storm came in as we are on the camp site

It was in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
Wife: I'm having second thoughts about booking a week long stay at the teepee camp

Me: No, you're just having a reservation reservation reservation

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to army boot camp and I got in trouble for skipping camouflage training

The instructor said he'd never even seen me in the classroom.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nonions
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
I tried to get insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.

They said, β€œIf your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
You can't run through a camp site.

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

πŸ‘︎ 120
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What does 1 and 0 do at a camp?

They build a ten-t

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1-STARrating
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
You can't run through a camp ground. You can only ran.

Because it's past tents

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My father and I were setting up camp. As we were setting up, he said he had to take a dump and that while he does that, I need to finish tying up the tent. I asked β€œreally?”. To which he replied:

β€œI shit, you knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irorii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a T Shirt from the Respiratory Health summer camp my Mom went to from 25+ years ago..
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoopaTroopa43
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter is trying to light a fire at camp and it just WOULDN'T light. Turn to her and tell her it's because the firewood is bad. "How can you Tell" she asks..

Because the wood is naughty.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cmeilleur1337
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to buy tornado insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.

They said, β€œIf your tents get blown over, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
You can't run through a camp site...

You can only ran, cause it's past tents

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datboifritz113
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?

They were in tents

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Olaffubbuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My parents sent me to mime camp one summer.

I still can't talk about it.

πŸ‘︎ 160
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Which summer camp do Melons go to?

The John Cougar Mellencamp

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slartibartfastBB
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I donated a camp chair to the orchestra instrument drive.

I heard every symphony has a first chair.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/centstwo
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
There were a couple of miners make their way to SF. They set up camp for the night underneath a giant half dome. One of the miners was going to make coffee. He ask if anyone else wanted something to drink

Someone yelled back from the other side of camp. β€œYO SEND ME TEA.!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandyHoey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I sent my son to language day camp and he told me he never wanted to go to it again.

He said it was no pun.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mobius_squared
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
If you only *used* to camp...

does that mean you're past-tents?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Serofu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that Jewish disciplinary camp?

They TORAH new one in all those rabbis

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
When I was younger my parents wanted to send me to fat camp.

When my mom called to get me in she found out it was full but they would call if there was an opening.

To which my dad responded β€œI guess you are on their weight list.”

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army camp?

A flat major.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ATrollNamedRod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad always said I’d be going to summer camp in China.

He said it was called β€œYouth in Asia” I was SO bummed when I figured out what he meant.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a hole in the nudist camp's wall

The police are looking into it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Went to a local fish camp and the server wrote this on our to go box
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thestrawthatstirs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
You can't run in a camp ground. Only ran.

Becuase it's past tents.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/action_jim
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Camp Fire
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CamelSandwich
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2016
🚨︎ report
You can't run thru a camp ground...

You can only ran, because it's past tents

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hj91
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Before I left for camp, my mom said she was taking me shopping for toiletries. My dad said, don't be ridiculous...

Toilets don't grow on trees.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
There were too many applicants for boot camp

Many of them had to be put on a wading list.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TakaComics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Camp rocks...
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WorstGabeNA
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2016
🚨︎ report
You can't run through a camp ground. You can only ran.

Because it's always passed tents.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Adoniram1733
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
🚨︎ report
This one time at band camp...
πŸ‘︎ 191
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gapporin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2014
🚨︎ report
If you camp out for Black Friday deals on jeans...

...you're up all night to get Lucky.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad at brownie camp

When my dad and I were dropping my sister off at brownie camp a few weeks ago, several of the adults came over to us to say hello. They introduced themselves as Snowy Owl, Tawny Owl, and Barn Owl. My dad chirps in with "So is that the pecking order then?" and elbows me in the ribs, cackling away.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pepewonder
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2014
🚨︎ report
While my friend was trying to start a camp-fire, I asked her...

"Did you bring your Kindle?"

No, why?

"It might help you with kindling the fire. Maybe you could use Tinder on your phone instead, it might give you a match."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RaptorsOnBikes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2016
🚨︎ report
I worked at a summer camp once. My dad dropped me off on cultural day.

I was bringing in a baked good that those who share my religious faith eat on special occasions. This was also the summer when the song "Hollaback Girl" was popular. As I'm leaving the car, my dad tells me, "If nobody eats the bread, make sure you don't bring it back, because then you'd be a Challah-back Boy."

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
🚨︎ report
Chat about camp

Relaxing outside yesterday with nephew, 2 uncles, and father-in-law. Uncle #1 to nephew: You're off to camp next week, aren't you? Nephew: Yep. Uncle #2: I heard that camp is intense! Father-in-law: In tents!? You'd think they could put you in a cabin or something...

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bricx11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Sea World just started a program where you get to camp with dolphins.

They say it's safe for all in tents and porpoises.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad at boy scout camp last year

Me and a bunch of guys were sitting around playing cards while some other scouts were having ice cream. My dad grabs the sprinkles, walks up to us, and starts throwing small pinches of sprinkles at us. He proceeds to say "You guys better get your raincoats, it's sprinkling"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wootiown
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call an overnight summer camp for brooms?

A sweepaway camp.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yismeicha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Taking roll at summer camp...

Counselor: "Juan Hernandez?"

Friend: "Two Hernandez..."

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WheezyLiam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
🚨︎ report
You can't run through a camp site.

You can only ran, because its past tents.

πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordDobbington
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
You can't run through a camp site.

You can only ran, because it's past tents

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Espadajin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
You can't run through a camp ground, you can only ran because it's past tents.
πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Strat1515
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
🚨︎ report

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