The local police station has had its toilet stolen

Officers have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 171
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole all the toilets from the police station.

They had nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VisualEyez33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night

Cops have nothing to go on

πŸ‘︎ 202
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A women was getting petrol at a petrol station and spilt some on her arm.

She rubbed the petrol off and drove away. While on the road, she lit a cigarette and her arm caught on fire. Concerned, she started waving her arm out the side of the car.

Amongst all this, the police pulled her over. "What am I under arrest for?" The officer replied "for having a firearm"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Got really emotional at the petrol station today.

Don't know why, just started filling up.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why air pumps at gas stations used to be free but are now $1.50?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 236
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πŸ‘€︎ u/officialsmolkid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A very young lemon strolled into an underground metro station, buying and enjoying a coffee, chatting with other fruits and eventually riding on a nice, modern train.

One could say it was a sub-lime experience.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePokemasterYT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between an old bus station and a crab with a boob job?

Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VoltrenXytech
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I keep complementing my local gas station when training my dog.

Good sit go.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
I went to the local petrol station

There was nothing coming out of the nozzle. I walked to the kiosk and i said, have you got your pumps on? He said, no, I'm wearing flip-flops

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/northernsou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font.

Now that is bold.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Police stations dog squad got robbed today.

Police officials don’t have any leads at this time.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Viglek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a giant fly attacking the police station

Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad doesn't like filling stations.

He says they give him gas.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
There's an epidemic of exploding toilets at police stations.

Cops have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a woman at the gas station pumping gas and trying to light a cigarette

I went inside to pay and saw two policemen in the store. I said "Did you guys see that woman out there?" They looked outside and suddenly darted out the door. I turn and see she caught her arm on fire.

The policemen threw a blanket around her and wrestled her to the ground and put out the fire. Then they gave her a ticket!

After they came inside I asked why they gave her a ticket. Turns out she didn't have a license for that firearm.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/digeratisensei
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Compressed air at gas stations used to be FREE, but now you have to pay $2!

Inflation blows.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I grew up after covered wagons, but before space stations.

We had a station wagon.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A little boy walked into a police station

"I lost my daddy" says the boy. "We'll look for him son, don't worry: what's he like?" asked the officer. "Liquor and women."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hand sanitizer station that's empty?

A hand sani-teaser....

....

....

Because you think you're going to get your hand sanitized, but you don't, cause it's empty, so it's teasing you...

Yeah?

Yeah?

aww....

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestOfCheem
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the supervillain say when he got off at the last train station?

It's the end of the line for me!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to the Police Station yesterday and started singing Rock a bye baby.

The Sargent stopped me and said, "No sir, we need an alibi."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you guys seen the International space station??

Its out of this world!

How it works is above me!

Someone tried to explain it to me but it flew right above my head!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hydro_12345
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What time does the train pull into the station?

Choo-choo thirty, I'd say.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FairlyCharming
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A legit conversation today with my 2 1/2 year old son as we do our daily stroll past a train station that for once, has no trains stationed...

Son: Daddy, where is Thomas? Daddy: I don’t know, mate. Son: He must be working from home today.

Is this his first dad joke?? Strange what they must be picking up from conversations. Got me good.

πŸ‘︎ 598
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
One of the local radio stations had a "Worst Pun" contest.

The best part was you could submit multiple entries, and I sent in a bunch, at least 10. I figured the more I came up with, one of them had to win.

But, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My son tried to make me a rest bed with a built-in water station, but the water kept squirting out.

I smiled and told him, "Hey, it's the cot that founts!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk I have a work station...

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2shoesnotfellows
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
They say there's a cryptid by the train station that drinks American whiskey late at night

But I'm sure that's just a bourbon legend.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who cleans the outside of the International Space Station?

A vacuum cleaner

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinsy_Crow
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't think this train has left the station.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Thieves have broken into and stolen all the toilets at the Police Station

Detectives have nothing to go on

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I went over to a station where people could gather and entertain themselves with games. On the entrance was marked β€œ5”

I went to play station 5

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angoram
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
After the most historic series of fires ever, an arsonist goes into the police station to turn himself in.

It was his claim to flame

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AsSheenOnTV
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Handing myself into the police station after posting this
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jrum7000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember when you could go to gas stations and put air in your tires for free? Now it’s $1.75! You know why?

Inflation.

πŸ‘︎ 249
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eternalrefuge86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
An astronaut was trying to make coffee on the space station...

Astronaut 1: "I want to make coffee but I can't find any milk."

Astronaut 2: "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."

πŸ‘︎ 812
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewzilla37
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I ate some really spicy food at a gas station.

At least I got free gas.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReineDeTaBite
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I left it late to get a gift for my mum for Mother’s Day. Ended up at a petrol station. I bought her some Lorry Oil...

β€˜Cos she’s worth it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How come it used to cost a quarter to pump your tires at the gas station, and now it costs a dollar?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A polish man walks into a police station.

Polish man: help me! Help me! My wife is trying to kill me!

Police man: calm down sir, do you have any evidence that your wife is trying to kill you?

Polish man: Yes! I opened our medicine cabinet and found Polish Remover!

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember when they used to have air at the gas station for free? Now it’s $1.50

You know why? Inflation!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanator_Obosit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Before air was free at the gas station, and now you have to pay for it? You know why?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station

Investigators have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 367
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πŸ‘€︎ u/javerthugo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Air used to be free at gas stations, now it's $1.50. Know why?

Inflation.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone has stole all the toilet paper from the police station.

Police say at the moment we have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole all the toilets from the local police station!

They’re looking for the culprits, but they have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole all the toilet seats at the police station.

The police are trying to find the thief but they have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report

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